Reclaim your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 3

Welcome to part three of the Coaching Call series from my Radio Show slot on Reclaiming your Mojo! Hopefully if you are following along you have already got some great ideas and clarity from this four part course...looking forward to delivering the fourth and final part tomorrow.

If you already know that you want to Reclaim your Mojo and want to find out how I can help you take this to the next level then why not book a free 45 min slot to clarify how my soulful approach can help you get that balance and wellbeing that you so want to feel again. Have you looked at my Spiritual Balance Coaching and how it all works yet? Have a look here to find out more about how my bespoke approach can work for you.

Enjoy the third episode and hope that your mojo is already returning!

Reclaim your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 2

Here is part two of the Coaching Call series for Reclaiming your Mojo!! Packed full of practical ideas, suggestions and exercises to try out from my Radio Show Slot! Enjoy!

Remember that if you would like to book a free Coaching Call with me to discover how you can Reclaim your Mojo you can book your free 45 min session here

Book Coaching Call

Spiritual Balance Coaching - What is it and How can it Help You?

So what is Spiritual Balance Coaching?

Spiritual Balance Coaching is my own brand and blend of Coaching, Counselling and Spirituality. It has been developed over several years and has so far only been used exclusively on retreats. It is a very personalised approach to your Coaching which involves creating a spiritual experince within your coaching journey. Sessions will introduce:

• personalised meditations,
• card readings,
• reiki healing,
• Bach Flower Remedies
• EFT sessions

depending on what is right for you and where the sessions guide us to go. Your own 'prescription' of sessions will be created with you at the very beginning to outline 5 powerful and meaningful sessions. This is blended with Coaching and Counselling techniques to bring you a truely unique experience matched to your current state and with your desired outcomes in mind.


Who is it for?

If you have been thinking about making changes in your life or know you have reached a point where SOMETHING HAS to change and you also know that to do this you want to approach it from a holistic point of view - with thought to what is meant for you from the Universe then this is an approach that may suit you well. Do you want to:

Find out why a relationship is experiencing difficulties and resolve this?
Find love?
Explore a business idea?
Find out who you are and what you are meant to do?
Regain your love of life and feel in control of your destiny?
Enjoy life again and break through those issues that have held you back?


Spiritual Balance Coaching is a dynamic but gentle approach that doesn't tell you what to do but guides you to what is meant for you through your own intiution and through accessing universal knowledge to enhance your understanding and tap into what your soul has been trying to tell you.

What happens in the sessions?

Every session is one to one over Skype or phone and lasts for an hour and a half. These are longer sessions that normal because I believe that the time we spend together is precious and needs to be offered with plenty of time to work through the various issues, thoughts and feelings without leaving you without the answers you seek for too long. Most coaching sessions are 45 mins to an hour and sometimes this is just not long enough to explore and also to apply the exploration in a meditation or a reading. The sessions will be created together according to what is best for you. We would normally start with a session to understand where you are right now, with me listening carefully to what you are feeling and what it is that you want to achieve and perhaps a card reading to better understand the deeper issues that may be at play. I will then mix a personalised Bach Flower Remedy for you and send it to you in the post for you to take throughout the time we are working together. Each session is designed to transform you and bring you to a deeper understanding of your blueprint for the soul.

How Much Does it Cost?

I ordinarily offer these sessions for £200 a time but I have decided to open 5 spaces for 5 people to have a block of 5 sessions with me. The cost for all 5 sessions is £550 and includes all materials, your Bach Flower Remedy, Card Readings, Homework, Support Materials, Recordings of our sessions and email support between sessions. Remember all sessions are also 90mins. This is incredible value and I will only be offering it at this price for the first 5 people to take up the offer. I may open more spaces at a later date for this but the price will not remain at this level beyond the first five spaces.

How can I Secure my Sessions at this Price?

To ensure you get one of the 5 spaces you will need to pay a deposit of £200 straight away and book your regular time slot with me for the 5 sessions. The remaining amount is due before we start our first session but you can book it now, pay the deposit and then start when you are ready - the deposit secures your place at this special price but there is no need to start immediately if you are not ready to begin just yet.

I'm Ready to Secure my Place

To make sure you are one of the 5 please click here to secure your place and pay your deposit of £200 (via paypal) or in full if you would like to start straight away. To check if your preferred time and day is available for your sessions please email me on: info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

Love Nova xxx

The Feeling of Disconnection (and what to do to feel connected once again)

We all have times where we feel disconnected from the world around us, when we don't feel like we fit in to our lives anymore. When colleagues at work are no longer on our wave length or when we are reaching out for something different but have not yet found people of a similar mindset to connect with.

It can leave us feeling lonely and wondering if there is anyone who really 'gets' us anymore. When we change the people around us can suddenly appear to be estranged and that leaves us without a sense of belonging and the disconnection is deepened.

So when and why does disconnection occur? There are two MAIN (not the only), reasons why a feeling of disconnection can occur...

1) The most common reason for this is that your circumstances have changed. 

This can be a great thing sometimes...but it can feel strange, like you are entering a new world and leaving an old one but neither quite 'fits' where you are right now. A feeling of being between worlds is disconcerting like moving to a new area or new job but not knowing anyone yet. You are keen to meet the locals, to make friends, to fit in with everyone who seems to have known each other forever, you know it will happen over time but it is not there quite yet. You are the outsider and it feels very different to what you were used to in your previous job/community/family/life. You may have changed for many different reasons - a divorce, a death, loss of financial stability, having a baby, getting married, moving house, learning a new skill, even just opening up to a new way of thinking can temporarily make you feel disconnected.

2) The second reason is that maybe you have changed.

Perhaps you grew up in a community that knew you for being the rogue teenager and now that you are an adult with a serious job or a different set of beliefs you no longer feel like you can be accepted for the 'new' you. You are held back by your previous reputation or by the way people have seen you in the past. Perhaps you used to hide parts of who you are but now you are ready to accept them and integrate them but you feel that others would not be so accepting, they may laugh, they may not want to be your friend anymore, you may not even want them to be your friends anymore either. Perhaps you have changed because you have a child and most of your friends are not ready for babies yet, or maybe you had a baby older than them and their children are all much older? It could even be something like you have lost a lot of weight and no longer feel that you are supported because people are suddenly jealous of you, perhaps you got a great job and went into a different pay bracket and others are not as happy for you as you thought they might be?

Staying in a state of disconnection can lead to depression and anxiety, perhaps you are already there and want to know how to get out of it again - So what can you do about any of these reasons for disconnection and how can you reconnect with life and feel that joy and deep sense of belonging in life again? 

Here are my top tips for recreating a sense of connection with the world again. I know that once you are feeling disconnected it can take enormous effort to undertake any suggestion at all and you might even wonder whether it is worth it, whether you are worth it...but feeling good again is ABSOLUTELY worth the effort (even if you really have to force yourself - go on be tough on yourself and have a word).

• Remember that you are not the only one. We all go through times of feeling disconnected, some more than others but even the most confident of people, the most self assured, go through times of feeling like they are essentially alone or that they don't quite fit into their own life. You may not see it but you are absolutely not the only person feeling this way right now (far from it).
• Release some Oxytocin - this is our feel good hormone and when levels are low it can create a feeling of general 'God this is shit and so am I'. To increase your levels of Oxytocin couldn't be easier...hugging, sex, laughing, exercise, looking at someone you love, feeling the grass under your feet and remembering the present moment is all you have and need, play fighting, dancing around to loud music...whatever makes you feel good is going to release Oxytocin and whatever releases Oxytocin will make you feel good.
• Write it down or talk it out. Sometimes its better out than in...just the act of scribbling your thoughts down (however messy, silly or shouty they come out) can help to get the thoughts into a new perspective and just out of your head. You can then either keep it, analyse it, burn it or forget it. It's not important what you do with it, just get it out of your head and find a way of expressing how you are feeling. Talk to someone, tell someone how you are feeling, even if it's in an online group you belong to - watch how many others are feeling just the same way too. 
• Remember nothing lasts. That feeling of disconnection will not last, it can't because you are not really ever disconnected. You are the water droplet that makes up the wave, you cannot ever really be apart you can only mis-remember and feel like you are..but that won't always be the case...it will pass.
• Get out and about. Go for a drive, phone a friend, go for a walk, talk to someone new, join a new group, volunteer, offer to help the neighbours, post something helpful online, reach out...reach out for a hand and be willing to be the help that reaches out to another...we all need that...every last one of us. 
• Look for inspiration. What has helped you in the past when you have felt this way? What has been unhelpful? What does your heart tell you to do? What does your heart tell you you are missing and how can you go about finding that? What book catches your eye? What kind of new person would you like to meet? Inspire your imagination, feel excited about what this feeling can bring you in terms of new inspiration.
•  You are not lost, you are hiding. Don't hide who you are, if you have changed then that's ok, if your circumstances have changed that's ok too - it's ok because it is so, what you do next is the key. The moment you stop hiding you are no longer lost.

If you need someone to talk to, to find a way to feel connected again, to reach out and ask for help then please know that you can have a discovery call with me for free. Maybe you will decide it's not for you, that's ok, but in the meantime it might really help and it won't cost you a thing. It's 30 mins of just you and me, looking at where you are and where you want to be. The link below takes you to a page where you can book a slot online or email me to find out more and/or book your slot. Don't keep your happiness waiting...

Book a Discovery Call

 Love Nova xxx

Follow your Dreams (without letting others put you off)

It's really easy for people who are not putting themselves at any risk to suddenly have an opinion on the risk that you are taking. They may not ever have gone self-employed, never reached for the life they truly wanted, never found the guts to follow their dreams, but they sure think they know far more than you and believe strongly that you should listen to their advice!

It's not that you shouldn't listen to advice, or take criticisms on board, or learn to be objective about your ideas...you should. The thing you don't want to do though is to forget your own inner sense of what is right for you. No one else has to live your life, you do. So although someone else might feel that something is best for you, they will always have their own agenda to fulfill as well. They may not mean it to be negative or to put you off, they may genuinely feel they have your best interests at heart. But, if you feel that it contradicts what you know to be true in your heart, listen to your heart instead, it probably knows best.

If you find yourself with friends, family, colleagues who don't believe in you, who fill your head with the idea that you will fail or just that the likelihood is that you will fail then make a decision to stop listening to them and get into a place where you can hear what your soul is saying to you. Make your own mind up, follow your own journey, make your own mistakes. Yes, maybe it won't work first time, second time, or even the 100th time - but that's the beauty of mistakes, of learning, of trying. Think of how much more you will have experienced in your life just by attempting things, by doing what so many people are afraid to do and giving it a go!

Who do you want to be? The person who tries but sometimes fails or the person that never tried in the first place? Ask any of the most successful people who have ever lived if they ever experience failure...they all did. The difference was they carried on anyway, they refined, they made changes, they may have done something else entirely but they didn't just say 'oh, you're right, I'm no good, I'll just stop'. Ask Henry Ford if he ever listened to nay sayers, ask Edison if he gave up on the light bulb just because the first 10,000 attempts didn't work, ask Rowling if she gave up on Harry Potter after numerous rejections.

Listen to those who have your back, the people who know what you are trying to achieve and why, the people who really know what they are talking about because they have done it. You may not even like what they have to say but at least they will be talking from experience.

Staying positive is key to making things work for you Start by being positive about yourself:

 You are brilliant, you are brave, you are exciting and you are worth the life that you want. 

Never sell yourself short by thinking that you are less worthy than anyone else who has made changes in their lives...we are all capable of this, not just a chosen few...and those who have done it have had doubts too, times where they thought it might not happen or came across setbacks...the only thing that sets them apart is that they kept on trying until it worked and never gave up.

You can DO IT!!

 If you would like to find out more about your own life purpose you can join our workshop on the 23rd September....click here to find out more about this fantastic event.

Why not spend the day, just you and me in wonderful, luxurious surroundings to find out what you want to do, how you can do it and work through the things that stop you from achieving all that you want. Find out more about my VIP Luxury Intensive days here. You can use these days for absolutely any issue you want to work through, or to get a business idea off the ground (did you know I am an award winning business planner?!)

To get your FREE 30 page workbook so you can do some coaching in your own time and for free, please click here and get started today!

Want to ask me more? Book a free discovery call with me and we can do some coaching together to help you find out how to love your life!

Love Nova xxx

Five Powerful (and simple) Changes to Make in September

So September marks the start of Self Improvement Month in America and it's not hard to see why September would be a great month for this to take place! The children go back to school, the seasons start to change and the time for holidays is coming to a close again...we are starting to reassess and see where this year has taken us.  So how can you make this an amazing month for you? Here are my top five powerful changes you could make this month. They may not sound amazing, or even particularly interesting but trust me...they are very powerful and so simple to implement when it comes to changing your life to one you love to live.

Try them out for the next 30 days and see for yourself...

1) Help someone

Not only does helping another bring relief to another, a smile to another and possibly some much needed support but it helps you too! It is a proven way to increase your own sense of self worth and to bring positive feeling into your body and mind. Helping another needn't be a big deal, just saying something genuine and complimentary can change someones day for the better. I saw a Facebook post today where someone had noticed a girl with her head down on her way into work and she stopped to tell her that she really liked her blouse and told her how pretty she looked and the girl lifted her head and went off looking much happier than before - that's powerful stuff right there and it didn't take a second, it didn't involve money or any investment of self, but it probably vastly improved the girls day and it obviously boosted the women who gave the compliment because she had mentioned it on Facebook. Everyone wins.

2) Set a routine

Routines used to bore me to death, I thought it was unimaginative, dull and conformist to create a routine for life...but, over the last few years I have noticed how a routine can help me to form habits that really make a huge difference, not only to how much I can get done in a day but also how I feel. I feel more in control, more at the helm of my own destiny and I also know that it is actually a way of giving myself a gift of time and investment on my own improvement. The difference is that my routine is now of my choosing, I have made choices based on what I want to achieve and therefore it doesn't feel dull it feels magical! Before I would base my routine around other people and therefore felt that it couldn't change - it could and it did, just as soon as I realised that there were things I did that I didn't need to do and other things that I could do differently.

3) Read more (learn more)

I love to read, I have bookshelves full of non fiction on everything from String Theory to Angels and I have read them all, some several times. My knowledge and understanding expands daily and although I don't have the kind of memory that can reel off facts and figures, I do have the kind of mind that gets the bigger picture and can pull things together across different disciplines to find the common factors - which I LOVE to do! For a list of my top ten recommendations on books that can change your life, you can read my post here Whatever you love to learn about, why not try to do this more and regularly (you don't have to read if you struggle with this, listen to them on Audio Book or watch TED talks). Do something in September that widens your view of the world and expands your consciousness about lots of different things. Take a course, work through a book, talk to someone whose views are different to yours...learn, learn, learn.

4) Meditate

Meditation is one of those things that people often think is a waste of time, it takes too long, it is too hard to clear your mind (who EVER has a clear mind) etc etc. It is though a very powerful and relaxing activity that actually doesn't have to take more than about 6 minutes...although I would recommend taking longer than that if you can. It changed my life when I first started meditating about 11 years ago. I have a meditation you can download as part of my 'Your Ultimate Journey to Dazzling Self Respect' if you want one to get you started. It is the same one that I have been using for over a decade, it is very simple, doesn't have to take long at all and doesn't require a great deal of visualisation experience either...give it a go and watch things change for you.

5) Walk

My partner and I have started going for walks regularly, just the two of us because we both recognised that during these times we had great chats, we came up with great ideas and it was an opportunity to reconnect after a busy day too. I will often go out for walks with my son as well and inevitably we get lost in a wood somewhere (last week we got a bit lost, got soaked in the rain and ended up having to climb a tree and jump over a fence to get back to the car!) but we always have the most interesting and revealing chats at these times. I walk alone too when I need to refresh my mind, let go of something, feel happier or just to move my body a bit after a day of Coaching. Walking cost's nothing, it gives the mind new surroundings in which to work through problems and it gives you a mental and physical boost, try walking for the purpose of just exploring - both your environment and your mind.

So...five very simple changes that you could make in September that can make a real and powerful difference if you implement them and follow them...what other changes could you make? Would you like to make even bolder changes this school year? Would you like to talk about those things you want to improve or reach for in a FREE 45 min Discovery Call? Who knows what this year could bring for you if you make that decision that you are committed to your own life and want to make it the best it can be...don't keep your happiness waiting! 

Book a FREE Discovery Call

Love Nova xxx

Can Life Coaching Help Depression?

 

'I can't explain it, I just feel like my world has fallen apart'

These were the words I kept uttering when I had Post Natal Depression. I was able to function through the normal things in life, I still cared for my lovely baby, I still got up and got dressed, I still talked to people but I felt empty inside. It was a huge effort just to exist and I didn't know why I had this feeling that had shut off all light and joy in my world...there was no reason. This lack of a reason made it all the more frustrating to me although I could hardly muster up the energy to feel annoyed by it...it was just there, all the time.

I didn't know what to do to feel better and now I get asked as a Coach 'Can life coaching help depression?'

There are many forms of Depression and they can feel very similar to feelings of Grief and Loss and often in some way they are connected to this, even if at first it is not easy to see why or to attach the feeling of loss to anything in particular.

It takes a lot to work through Depression (it is most definitely 'work') and there are many ways in which this can be achieved depending on the type of person you are and the level at which your depression sits. It also depends upon the resources you have available at your disposal (sadly).

 This post though is not to look at all the ways in which Depression can be helped (maybe a later post will look into this in more detail) or the different types of Depression and how they manifest. This post will concentrate on whether Life Coaching can help with Depression - it is specifically for those with Depression (or feelings of pervasive sadness and low mood) who are already asking that question (in which case the answer is almost always 'yes') or for those who are Coaches and want to find the answer in order to best advise their clients as to whether they can help. 

For many people Life Coaching techniques are an excellent way to move past Depression - because they are forward focused and anchored firmly in the present they can quickly break the cycle and leave the client with some invaluable insights and tools that can be used again and again to form new behaviours, ways of thinking and solutions.

Recent research has shown that Mindfulness techniques are EQUALLY as good as a two year course of Antidepressants when it comes to effectiveness. See the link here for more information on this study
This is because Mindfulness focuses on the present and keeps a person in the here and now, it also gives you the tools (when combined with CBT) to acknowledge that negative thoughts are a normal part of life and shows you how to be in control of these rather than to spiral into negative thinking overwhelm.

The great news is that Coaching is all based in the here and now and very often many practitioners will use Mindfulness techniques within their repertoire of skills, especially with a client who comes with the issue of Depression.

So what does Coaching do that can help with Depression? 

• It gives you clear and manageable steps towards a new way of thinking that focuses on the positive rather than the negative.

• It creates big shifts internally through clarity and definition that then have a hugely influential effect on how you think and feel.

• It helps you to recognise blind spots and challenges some of your current thinking in a compassionate way.

• It helps you regain motivation and rediscover what you really want from your life and then works on a clear map of how to get you there in a measurable and tangible way.

• It gives you purpose again, shows you how to regain meaning and reminds you of what is truly important to you as an individual.

• It brings enjoyment back into your life and helps you celebrate the victories

The disclaimer here is that you should always consult with a GP if you feel depressed, Coaching is in no way a medical intervention and should not be seen as such. Coaches are not medically trained (unless they state that they are). If you are in any way concerned about yourself or someone you know and feel they may harm themselves you should ALWAYS seek medical advice before anything else.

If you are concerned about Depression or need to check the severity of your Depression there is a test you can take from the NHS in the UK which you can link to here (scroll right to the bottom of the page to access it).

That said, Coaching, although not the only answer and not the answer that suits everyone, can be a very effective way of dealing with Depression.

If you would like to arrange to speak to me further about how Love Living Coaching can help you with Depression please arrange a free consultation via this link or by emailing me on: info@lovelivingevents.co.uk 

I have a very useful tool that may also help which you can download here called

 'Your Ultimate Journey to Dazzling Self Respect'

Love Nova xxx

How Coaching is Different to Counselling and Why I Chose One Over the Other.

One question that I get asked a lot is why Coaching is different to Counselling - or is actually different at all? 

The short answer is that yes, they are different, substantially different in fact and I made a choice to focus on one rather than the other in my own practice for very specific reasons.

I studied Psychology at University and then after graduation I trained for a further three years to become a Psychotherapist.  It was a very rigorous process that rightly explored every aspect of who I was, went through every hidden emotion, every subconscious thought and brought them to the surface to be examined and experienced again. I spent long weekends away with my training group on top of the normal training where we were taught to become comfortable with every possible scenario that might come up in the Client/Therapist relationship.

One memorable time was when we were doing our sexual therapy training and had to ask each other, within a big group setting some of the most intimate questions you could think of - 'How often do you masturbate?' for example, and we had to answer the entire group honestly and openly until everyone knew the most secret parts of your humanity. It was a daunting task but it was perhaps the most valuable training I have ever had (I've had loads!) because it has made me aware of things that in 'normal' life I might never have come across/dared to ask/thought might exist. 

It was exhausting and uncomfortable, I faced up to every weakness, confessed every secret, had my every judgement broken down, confronted all my fears, learned what it felt like to be totally vulnerable and then went to work to build a new me - a stronger me but a me that still had a long way to go and probably a me that felt more frightened of the world than ever before.

The problem I had with Counselling as a profession was that I didn't like how long it took to make huge leaps in the process of change, I felt that it was damaging to hold people in a space where they felt so much pain and suffering and to explore that to deeper and deeper levels. I wasn't sure that there were many people skilled enough, strong enough and mentally robust enough to take someone to a dark place and know how to bring them back again safely.

I also noticed when I was working with some of my clients that Counselling simply served to confirm over and over again to them that they were damaged, that they were incapable of finding solutions for themselves because they had so much going on in their past that was to blame for their current state. Most people didn't want to 'get better' they wanted to be held and to listened to and to be loved. This is a valuable and wonderful thing to be able to give to someone - to give them the space and the time to feel special and worthwhile, but what you want in the end is to move them forwards to feel empowered and free to choose their own emotions and not be beholden to a past that no longer exists. Many people are more frightened of leaving the support of counselling that the number of people who are willing to make changes for themselves with the support of counselling.

Counselling has it's place of course - I myself had to undergo counselling as part of the process of qualifying and again later as an adult I had a short spell of counselling around a specific issue. I found Person Centered Counselling was much more 'me' than Psychodynamic Counselling but neither were as dynamic, as fast acting, as helpful or as empowering as Coaching. It was all helpful though and I still believe that whatever helps is helpful - i.e Do whatever helps you personally.

When I noticed that many people who received counselling did not have a real drive to move forward and did not understand that they themselves were responsible for this movement forward and relied instead on the Therapist to do it for them I became hugely frustrated and despondent with the Counselling world. It didn't suit my values and beliefs or my view of the world so I knew I needed to find something different.

Coaching was very new when I first discovered it, the Life Coaches at the time in the UK were focused on too broad an approach, they tended not to have the depth of training and knowledge that Therapists had, nor did they have the same breadth of experience with a huge variety of issues or problems - some still don't, you don't have to have had any experience or training at all to call yourself a Coach. What happens (which is very similar to Counselling) is that Coaches are people who have gone through issues themselves and realised that they can help others who are not as far along the road as they are now, to feel better and to show them a road map out of the woods that they themselves were once lost in.

This is fantastic if the Coach is focused in this particular niche - if you want to earn more money you need a Coach who has been in a place of no money and found the map to wealth and can clearly explain to you how they got there. What they also need to have however, is a clear understanding of how to listen fully to where you are (because no two people are the same) and apply it to you and your circumstances. Or they need to be really clear on the type of person they can help and not take on those who do not fit this model.

Coaching with the right person, with a very clear idea of who they can help and what knowledge and experience they bring to this process is what you want. Not everyone will agree with me when I say that Coaching requires experience but I believe that it does, especially for someone who has not had any formal training. The great thing is though that we ALL have experience in something - we are all experts at something and Coaching allows you to move forward very quickly with an issue (or several) if you find the person who is an expert in that area(s). Take the Coach who is very intuitive - they may not have gone through a divorce themselves but if their expertise is being highly intuitive they will be able to ask the right questions around where you are and where you want to go and they will sense clearly where you are at every stage of the process and tweak it to be in alignment with your personal progress. You do not need to have had the same experiences to be a Coach in that area, what you need is to be an expert with people and deeply in tune with what they require at every stage. 

So, why did I choose Coaching over Counselling? Because I want to see people move forward, I want to work as an equal partner to them, not to take the role of therapist and client, I want to hold the space for change and nurture that change whilst holding the other person accountable for their own progress in a gentle and non judgmental way.  I also want it to happen quickly for them so they do not become reliant on something (whether a process or a person) outside of themselves, with a clear goal in mind so that it can be measured as to whether the coaching is helpful and whether it produces results. I want people to know their power when they have completed Coaching, not to have just been exposed to their weaknesses. I want people to have an end date in mind and what they would like to have achieved by this end date, I want them to work towards something tangible, not just 'feeling better'.

How is Coaching different to Counselling?

• Coaching is forward thinking and present focused.

• Counselling is past focused

• Coaching is creative and exploratory

• Counselling is reactive and exploratory

• Coaching creates a process where the client is responsible for the results

• Counselling creates a process where the Therapist is responsible for the results

• Coaching is direct and challenging
•  
• Counselling is indirect and challenging

• Coaching is delivered through various different means

• Counselling is always one to one or group

• Coaching is often fun and exciting

• Counselling is often upsetting and draining

• Coaching is fast acting and has a specific end date

• Counselling is at the pace of the client

• Coaching focuses on the how and the when as well as the why.

• Counselling focuses on the why

• Coaching doesn't require any formal training or education

• Counselling requires a long period of in-depth training

• Anyone can become a coach

• Counselling is only open to those who are accepted onto a training course after interview and passing certain criteria and can only be practiced by those who pass the course.

There are many other differences too but these are the main ones. There are also a lot of similarities, both are there to support, nurture, understand and serve others in their journey to be changed by the experience. 

In my opinion, having a mixture of the two, taking the best of both worlds is the perfect scenario for clients. Therapists know how to use an understanding of your past to understand your present and a Coach knows how to affect change from your present to your future. Having both a deep understanding of the human Psyche and an ability to drive the process forward towards tangible results is a winning combination. You don't need to BE both a Therapist and a Coach but it is helpful to have an understanding of the differences and similarities.

I choose to Coach now but my skills as a Therapist will never leave me and they enhance my Coaching no end because I take the best of Therapy and blend it with my Coaching (not take the best of Coaching and blend it with Therapy). The important thing is to know what is right for you? This approach is right for me and for my clients but what is right for one person is not right for another...the only thing I know for sure is why I have made my choices, why you make yours is an entirely different story...

To find out whether my approach of a mixture of Therapy and Coaching is right for you why don't you book a FREE session with me? I give all prospective clients a free 45 min session over Skype or the phone so that we can talk about where you are right now, why you are there and how we might be able to get you to where you really want to be...book your no obligation chat with me using this link http://goo.gl/20DuIE  or by emailing me: info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

I also have a FREE GIFT for you that you can download straight away! You can do some Coaching for yourself in the comfort of your own home by exploring some of your values/beliefs/thoughts and emotions in my FREE workbook 'Your Ultimate Journey to Dazzling Self Respect' 

Love Nova xxx

How to Sack your Emotions and Hire Your Self!

I created and posted this recently...it came to me after I was thinking how often we let our emotions take over our minds and bodies without really even knowing why sometimes. How we find ourselves unable to move forward from emotions or let them go easily.

I have been 'talking' to my emotions for as long as I can remember. I see them as separate from myself and controllable. Not that I don't let them control me sometimes because I do!!

I only realised that 'talking' to my emotions was something that I did when a lovely lady commented on the above quote and said

 'I love the concept that that we can dialogue with our emotions. It's spot on'.

I suddenly thought 'well that's what I do all the time!' and decided that rather than it being a weird thing (which perhaps it is) it was an important tool in self development to be able to separate yourself from your emotions and actually have a conversation with them! 

So here are my tips on how to dialogue with your emotions and how this can help you overcome emotional paralysis.

1) When you feel an emotion, whatever it is, remember that this is not you...this is a reaction that you are having to something real or imagined. The majority of the time it is actually an imagined 'something' that you are reacting to. Sometimes we don't even have any idea what that 'something' even is. That's because we store in our minds the experiences of the past, and develop triggers that can set off an emotion whenever we experience something even vaguely similar to a past event where we felt deep emotion. 

2) When an emotion comes up that is not helpful to you (remember that emotion is an important indicator of what is happening and we want to feel emotions, we just don't want to be held back by them or to get stuck there), acknowledge it. Notice how you are feeling, if you can put a name to the emotion then do 'I am feeling anxious right now'. 

3) Once you have stopped long enough to check in with your emotions and notice that you are feeling 'out of whack' and what form that emotion is taking (faster breathing for example) then it's time to have a chat. Sit comfortably somewhere for a moment and just close your eyes and ask whatever emotion is stopping you in your tracks to make itself known. You might well now feel a more exaggerated form of your emotion, sadder, more anxious, less motivated etc. This is what we want for a short time so go with it.

4) Say hello to your emotion, let it know that you have noticed it and that you are not ignoring it (what we resist, persists). You can literally say 'Hello fear, I see you, I know you are there'. This is the first step in separating yourself from the emotion (remember you are NOT your emotions).

5) Then you want to reassure your emotion by letting the part of you that is allowing this to stay in your experience (because we only experience those emotions that we allow), that it is not needed at the moment. You are glad that your emotions are there to alert you to what is happening around you, or warn you that maybe you are going down a track that you went down before when things didn't go so well but...this time all is ok. You can say 'I hear you but there is no reason for you to be here right now, you are safe, I'm looking out for danger and there is none here, you have done your job, thank you so much, but I let you go now'.

6) Wait until you feel the strength of the emotion lessening and then open your eyes. The emotion may linger for a while but you can keep reassuring in your head that all is well and it will eventually respond to you and disappear. 

You can use this technique any time that you have an emotion that keeps popping up at times when it really doesn't need to and stops you moving forward. Be kind to yourself, you have built these emotional triggers to protect yourself and they can be very helpful indicators but they need an off switch if we are to move forward and not stay stuck in an unhelpful emotion...talk to yourself....take control...you have the power! 

To get my FREE 30 page e-workbook 'Your Ultimate Journey to Dazzling Self Respect' 

please click here 

To book a FREE 30 min Discovery Call and find out how I might be able to help you love your life again please click here 

Love Nova xxx

My letter to you...life does get better

Dearest you,

I hear how you have been finding life frustrating recently, how you have been spending time thinking about how you could improve your life and even wondering sometimes if it is not your life that needs improving but that maybe you yourself are to blame for this life you find yourself in. 

I know that life has stopped feeling enjoyable, that you go through the motions but you are just not 'feeling' it anymore. I know that you want to be that carefree, happy you that you once were, that you can't quite understand where she has gone or why she ever left. I know that you have more to offer than you are able to through your day to day life at the moment, I know that stuck inside you is this caring, full of ideas and full of wisdom and full of joy person who doesn't get listened to much. 

I know that you want to feel like you belong more, just to feel like you belong in your own life would be a nice start...I know that you are losing heart with it all and wondering if it even matters when there is so much else to worry about. I know that you have dreams but you never find the time, money or energy to realise them, in fact you had mostly forgotten them and consigned them to the corner of your mind that you don't go to much called 'if only'. 

I know that you long to feel alive again, to feel loved again, to feel worthwhile again, to feel recognised, part of something, in touch with something larger than the monotony of life as it is at the moment. I know that your soul whispers to you and your heart cries sometimes and wonders why things are as they are. 

I know, I hear you, life can and will get better...I can promise you that.

Love Nova xxx

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk 

info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

Manifesting, Radio Show

It's Monday again! Have a wonderful week!

 

To start you off on a wonderful week ahead here is my last radio show on Manifesting you can now listen to it here on Sound Cloud!

If you enjoyed it then tune in this week for the first in a series on Loving your Life or why not take that step to book a call with me for free to find out how my 'Love your Life' coaching package or my 'Esteem Queen' package might be right for you!

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk
info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

Learning to Listen to Our Feelings

You can listen to my podcast for the School Run with Victoria Casebourne and find out how to listen to your feelings so that you can discover what is really going on underneath all the frustrations and fears...

Here is the link! I hope you enjoy it...

http://www.victoriacasebourne.com/episode-with-nova/

For more information on any of our talks and workshops please go to: http://www.lovelivingevents.co.uk/#!self-development-events/c1jkh

To have coaching with me please go to: 

http://www.lovelivingevents.co.uk/#!coaching-/c5m5

To get your FREE Magnetic Marketing workbook please visit the site and fill in your email when prompted! 

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk

Love Nova xxx

10 Unusual Things that Make or Break an Event!

Over the years I've run all kinds of events, from Weddings to Corporate Training, from the School Fete to Family Fun Day's at Tourist Venues and now I run talks and workshops to inspire people to love their lives. Events were great for me because I love organising, I love thinking of interesting ways to market events and I enjoy the pleasure people get from attending events and I've learnt a huge amount along the way...

This is a list of things that I learnt, what mistakes were made, what successes were had and how you can run a speaking or workshop style event that top's them all!

1) Only work with speakers that you like...

I have had the pleasure of meeting lots of people who want to offer talks and workshops over the years and I used to say yes to anyone and everyone - sometimes I wouldn't even have met them I just saw an email or had a quick phone call with them and fitted them in one way or another. Slowly I began to realise that this was not the best way to push forward any business that I was working with or for (after all most events are created to promote something else rather than just events in themselves).

• Whoever you have as a guest, stall holder, speaker, trainer, demonstrator etc has to be a good fit for your business - not just as another business but the actual person who will be attending the event. 

• Meet with them, talk to them, find out what they are like, how they talk, promote, interact and then decide whether they are actually the right person for what you are trying to achieve. It's ok to say no - even if they are the most popular person on the planet - if it doesn't fit with your desired outcomes.

 I once met a potential speaker after I asked for an introduction having liked some of their work, I instantly knew that they were not right for what I wanted to achieve. They were a big player in their world and I felt like maybe I should have them just for this reason but I knew absolutely that it wasn't a good fit, not long afterwards I found someone else who was a perfect fit and I was so relieved that I had said no to the other person!
2) Make sure your speakers have their own story...

I love to have speakers who talk from the heart, who can be vulnerable enough with their own story to share a little part of it with the audience...I personally feel it can be a great way to engage others and help them to feel more secure in exploring their own story or opening up to the new ideas that the speaker presents. If you have someone who is unwilling to be open then ask yourself whether they will really bring anything to the audience (who they are essentially asking to be open by listening to them) - how can they ask others to be open when they themselves are not? Openness is not about sharing your entire life story with the audience or telling them every awful thing that has ever happened in order to demonstrate how they can relate...it is simply about not hiding their humanity.

3) Pick a venue suited to the feel and outcomes you want to create for your event

This sounds pretty obvious but it can be overlooked. Venue is not the be all and end all when you are trying to pull in a crowd but it does have a bearing on the attraction and outcomes of the event.

• If you have an intimate workshop in mind and hold it in a huge village hall that feels very cold or lacks any kind of cosiness then you may find that a) people are not as willing to attend and b) they are less willing to take part within the session if they do attend because the space feels to daunting or overwhelming for them to be able to speak or share.

• The venue should always have the same feel that you are trying to create for the event itself - if you want people to feel energised, choose somewhere near water or with a golf club attached, or in a gym or with lots of colour. 

• If you want people to create meaningful relationships with each other during an event choose somewhere more nurturing - at a spa, in a log cabin in the woods (as long as it's not the creepy kind!), somewhere with a big fireplace, somewhere with natural surroundings etc.  

• If you are holding an event that needs to be really focused on the speaker (rather than the attendees) because you want to create excitement around what they are saying choose a venue with a stage and proper lighting or a space where the speaker stands that draws the eye with very little other distractions - like a theatre or somewhere without huge windows etc. 

• If you want big changes to occur choose a venue with a challenge - a venue that is super expensive, a venue that is very unusual, a venue that sparks the imagination, involves a different mode of travel to get there - let it reflect the outcome you desire.

4) Close the gap between old and new behaviours

• What will people get out of your event? 
• What is the behaviour they want to change and what new behaviour are they hoping to come away with? 
• What will change for them? 
• What will they achieve? 
• Why should they give up their time and money? 
• Why is this more important than something else they could be doing? 

You have an event that looks at self sabotage for example, the main selling point is not that you will be talking about what self sabotage looks like but that you will SHOW them HOW to move out of this state and into self belief instead - the old behaviour is what they will recognise as needing change and the new desired behaviour is what will make them book a ticket. 
5) Create your title carefully

When you are selling a talk you need to bear in mind the thought process of the audience. I recently created a small, intimate workshop for people who wanted to learn to love again after experiencing heartbreak. It was a lovely lady coming to run it and I knew it would be incredibly valuable to those who attended.

What I hadn't taken into consideration was the fact that not many people were willing to attend a talk with this title because it implied something about their lives and their hearts that they didn't want others to know about them. There was lots of interest but also lots of worried questions about whether people would know they were attending, would there be confidentiality assured etc.

People were attracted to it but not willing to tell the world that they were 'that person' who had been heartbroken - it was too personal to them. So in the end we ran this as an online seminar so that people could remain anonymous and it worked much better.

The same goes for talks around confidence - who wants to tell their friends that they are attending a talk on how to be more confident - if you are not very confident already this is probably the last thing you want to admit and to get more bums on seats you want people to shout about the events and invite all their friends! You can still do a talk on confidence but call it something like 'Shout it out - the best you ever!' or something similar which implies the content but doesn't name and shame it (as it were).

6) The disgruntled customer is your lead to the next talk title

Feedback is your magic potion for creating better events...there will always be a time when you find someone is disgruntled because of something that is inside them that the event didn't satisfy, these people are great because you can really get to the heart of what it was that they were expecting.

• Did you oversell the content and outcomes? 
• Did you give enough content for people to actually make changes or was it simply that the person in question was not ready to hear the message? 
• If they were not ready to hear the message - what message would have reached them more clearly? If you can find out you might have your next talk title created for you! 

Perhaps you organised a talk on Angels or something more unusual and got someone there who thought it was all a load of rubbish - talk to them,

• why did they attend? 
• Did they want absolute proof?
• Do they have a need to see something that the talk did not provide?

Dig for more insight so that you can sell talks both more clearly and transparently but also so that you can figure out a way to do the same talk again on a different level - perhaps a talk on the different ways in which you can sense, feel and communicate with the angels/universe/whatever your thing is would be a good one to introduce people to the fact that it is not all about one big massive reveal but an on-going relationship with self....
7) Find something rare and well known

Recently I went to an airshow with the Vulcan - it is the Vulcan's last flying season and she doesn't fly often. The airshow sold out, I was privy to the profit they made (which was way above their projections) and people came from miles around, camped out, watched from anywhere they could nearby if they didn't get tickets and the plane only flew for a grand total of 9 minutes.

The reason this event was such a huge success was because they found something rare and something that lot's of people had heard of. If you can find this you are on to a winner.

My own example of this was when I got to ask Nick Hewer from The Apprentice (well known) one question (rare) and could then share the answer on my blog - it still has hundreds of hits a day because it fits the formula. In terms of speaking events try to find either a well known speaker who has not spoken for a long time or rarely speaks now, or try arrange a talk on a subject that is well known but rare to be able to access in the form of a talk...I'll leave that one with you!

8) Don't let small numbers put you off

The key thing with events is to get going with them. If you only have a small number of people attending for the first few then go with it - sometimes that actually works much better when you are trying to build up a following for a particular speaker or a particular subject matter or a new business because you can really talk to the attendees and spend time with them.

 This is great if you are hoping to get them to spread the word for you or to go on to work with you further because you have time to get to all of them individually and ask for more in-depth feedback. It is also a great way of learning how everything is going to work and ironing out the kinks before the numbers get higher...just go for it!

9) Always put a little bit of you into each event, whether you are the speaker or the organiser

There are hundreds of events out there, but yours are the only ones run by you...you are what sell's it at the end of the day, the way you word things in your marketing, the way you talk about the event in your conversations, the mission you have for the events, the uniqueness that you bring to every interaction...always use that in your favour, don't be generic, don't be a copycat, be you and only you.

10) Always know what you want to achieve

For my events with Love Living I know exactly what I want to achieve...

I want people to be able to dip their toe into lots of different ways of accessing and activating their self development so that they find a fit for them and can be inspired to love their life. I don't want to up-sell, to convert everyone or for everyone to buy my book or sign up to my course...I just want to allow space and ideas to be shared until people find what they are looking for.

If they decide that it's working with me that they are looking for then wonderful, that's perfect...if they also decide that it's working with someone else or trying something different or nothing at all, that's perfect too because it is what is right for them.

Know what you want from every event so you can be clear on how it is represented, what the expectations are and what the mission is at the end of the day, what you need to bring to the event (do you want to be able to take further payments, sign up clients straight away etc) and what the next steps that you want people to take are going to be and how you will show them to that next step.

To find out what events we have coming up please visit our website www.lovelivingevents.co.uk or to find out more about Coaching and Training with me please click here or visit the website.

For a FREE gift of our Magnetic Marketing Workbook to accelerate your business to the next level please click HERE and enter your email in the pop up box.

Love Nova xxx

The Myth of Being in the Spotlight

How would it feel to be in the spotlight? How would it feel to place yourself in a position where you were the main event? Where all eyes are on you? Where people were hanging on your every word, waiting for your command, wanting you to take the lead?

Is it exciting? Terrifying? Daunting? Somewhere in between?

Would you run a mile from being in that position or do you want to work your way up to that but haven't quite plucked up the nerve yet?



Being in the spotlight is a place of vulnerability, it opens us up to criticism, to greater responsibility, to commitment and to power and it can feel like a very scary place to be that many of us shy away from.



Often we take jobs that allow us to hide a little, that allow us to stay in the background more whilst we ponder on the role or the business we really want to be in and watch others do well at...this is actually particularly true when what we actually want is something totally different to what we currently do. It may not matter to you to be in the spotlight in your role as a Manager for example but if what you really wish you could do is speak in front of hundreds on a big stage about what you truly feel passionate about you suddenly feel afraid - even though this is what you want more than the job as the Manager. Our real purpose and our real passions can be the hardest things to step into because they hold the most meaning for us and not getting them would be a bigger blow. But if we never even try then we are GUARANTEED to never get there.



The myth though is that we can avoid being in the spotlight, that we can avoid our fears of being who we are and shouting about it, that we are able to avoid responsibility, criticism, or power - because everything we do reflects to the world who we are, every thought we have or word we speak has power...being in the spotlight is totally unavoidable so be sure the spotlight is shining in the place you want it to, the place of truth of who you are.



The shy girl who says very little to others may assume she is never in the spotlight, but she is still noticed as the 'shy girl'...'oh she is the one who never says much and keeps herself to herself'...she has been recognised, only maybe not for who she really is, the shy girl is still in the spotlight only the light is shining on one aspect of her and the rest remains hidden. She may wish it to be this way but she has not avoided being seen, noticed or talked about...she is still in the spotlight. Maybe what she actually wants is to share her wealth of knowledge with others but she is afraid that people won't listen so the spotlight stays on her shyness and we are denied access to the rest of her light - more than that she is denied access to it as well...



So the question is not 'will I be seen?' but 'how do I want to be seen?'



If you long to be able to stand and deliver to others - if you want to shout about who you are and what you feel passionate about whether it is through writing, speaking, teaching, offering service - if you want to be heard and to deliver your message and to pass on to others what you know to be true for you...then don't be afraid of the spotlight...you are already in it, just not being shown in your full light and your full light is your best light so let it shine as brightly as it can.



Whatever you do for a living you are still going to be accountable, responsible and open to criticism for your role. You can do anything in the world and you will still be noticed...you could be a stagehand in a theatre and stay in the darkness and anonymity most of the time when a play is being performed but if you don't get the right thing into the right place at the right time you will be noticed and accountable. So do something that you love, not a thing that is nearly there but feels safer because you are less visible...you are never invisible so why not do the thing that you really want to do.



Why not be visible and accountable and responsible and open to criticism for the things you REALLY love, and really matter to you...don't live in the myth...live in the moment....

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk for all our talks and workshops and to find out how to book coaching with Nova and overcome your fears and blocks! 

Love Nova xxx

My NEW Radio Show!

I'm so excited to announce that you can now hear me on the radio every Monday (repeated every Sunday) at 7.45pm talking about everything Psychological! The first show is about the Desire for Change and how you can go about making changes even if they are super scary! Tune in at www.southwavesradio.co.uk

Listen out on South Waves Radio to hear more each week!

Enjoy!

Love Nova xxx

When you keep hitting the same brick wall...

 

Have you ever heard that saying 'the darkest hour is just before the dawn'? (that may not be entirely word for word what the saying is!) It's all about how close you are to making things happen when you have reached the point at which you are ready to give up entirely. It feels like the universe is conspiring against you, testing you at every turn and that it just wants you to piss off and stop hammering away at it like an annoying chisel.

However...I have so many examples of when this has turned out not to be too far from the truth and an explanation for why this is so often the case.

My Mothers Cousin is the racing car driver Derek Warwick, the Warwick family had reached the end of their tether....they had tried so hard to make everything work in their business but they were about to go under and things were looking bleak.They had an enquiry in at the last minute from someone who wanted an order and with a dismissive wave of his hand Mr Warwick quoted them way above what they normally quoted because what did they have to lose...that massive quote was accepted and the business was saved. It took near disaster for them to really value what they had (even without knowing it!) and what looked like the brink of disaster was in fact the brink of success.

It is that moment when you feel that you have nothing to lose that you suddenly reach out for something bigger than you ever dreamed was possible because what the hell, you might as well now! Who cares if you are about to give up anyway you can give it one last big shot and not worry too much about the outcome...

But what if we were to give it 'one last shot' in everything that we do? What if 'one last shot' was just part of our strategy for keeping up momentum? So that client you haven't heard from in ages isn't responding to you...give it one last shot and give that shot everything you've got because it might be the only shot you need. What if you have been frightened to charge more but you are not getting many clients anyway? Give it one last shot with the next client who comes your way and charge what you are really worth not what your fear tells you you are worth - you might just find you suddenly become a more attractive proposition rather than less of one!

So act as if that brick wall is there to be broken, see it as the brink of success and not of disaster, give it one last shot and make that shot the highest aim that you can!

Love Nova x

To book your FREE 30 min Coaching Discovery Call with me to find out how I can help you love your life and your business again please click below!

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