How to Sack your Emotions and Hire Your Self!

I created and posted this recently...it came to me after I was thinking how often we let our emotions take over our minds and bodies without really even knowing why sometimes. How we find ourselves unable to move forward from emotions or let them go easily.

I have been 'talking' to my emotions for as long as I can remember. I see them as separate from myself and controllable. Not that I don't let them control me sometimes because I do!!

I only realised that 'talking' to my emotions was something that I did when a lovely lady commented on the above quote and said

 'I love the concept that that we can dialogue with our emotions. It's spot on'.

I suddenly thought 'well that's what I do all the time!' and decided that rather than it being a weird thing (which perhaps it is) it was an important tool in self development to be able to separate yourself from your emotions and actually have a conversation with them! 

So here are my tips on how to dialogue with your emotions and how this can help you overcome emotional paralysis.

1) When you feel an emotion, whatever it is, remember that this is not you...this is a reaction that you are having to something real or imagined. The majority of the time it is actually an imagined 'something' that you are reacting to. Sometimes we don't even have any idea what that 'something' even is. That's because we store in our minds the experiences of the past, and develop triggers that can set off an emotion whenever we experience something even vaguely similar to a past event where we felt deep emotion. 

2) When an emotion comes up that is not helpful to you (remember that emotion is an important indicator of what is happening and we want to feel emotions, we just don't want to be held back by them or to get stuck there), acknowledge it. Notice how you are feeling, if you can put a name to the emotion then do 'I am feeling anxious right now'. 

3) Once you have stopped long enough to check in with your emotions and notice that you are feeling 'out of whack' and what form that emotion is taking (faster breathing for example) then it's time to have a chat. Sit comfortably somewhere for a moment and just close your eyes and ask whatever emotion is stopping you in your tracks to make itself known. You might well now feel a more exaggerated form of your emotion, sadder, more anxious, less motivated etc. This is what we want for a short time so go with it.

4) Say hello to your emotion, let it know that you have noticed it and that you are not ignoring it (what we resist, persists). You can literally say 'Hello fear, I see you, I know you are there'. This is the first step in separating yourself from the emotion (remember you are NOT your emotions).

5) Then you want to reassure your emotion by letting the part of you that is allowing this to stay in your experience (because we only experience those emotions that we allow), that it is not needed at the moment. You are glad that your emotions are there to alert you to what is happening around you, or warn you that maybe you are going down a track that you went down before when things didn't go so well but...this time all is ok. You can say 'I hear you but there is no reason for you to be here right now, you are safe, I'm looking out for danger and there is none here, you have done your job, thank you so much, but I let you go now'.

6) Wait until you feel the strength of the emotion lessening and then open your eyes. The emotion may linger for a while but you can keep reassuring in your head that all is well and it will eventually respond to you and disappear. 

You can use this technique any time that you have an emotion that keeps popping up at times when it really doesn't need to and stops you moving forward. Be kind to yourself, you have built these emotional triggers to protect yourself and they can be very helpful indicators but they need an off switch if we are to move forward and not stay stuck in an unhelpful emotion...talk to yourself....take control...you have the power! 

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Love Nova xxx