Deciding that you want to quit the 9-5 is one thing, knowing what you are going to do next is quite another! Maybe you have an idea, maybe you have literally no idea apart from knowing that a change is necessary. That's ok, that's a good starting point!
So what is it that you want to change?
Your working hours?
Your commute?
Your surroundings?
Your day to day activities?
Very often people can feel strongly about what they don't want anymore, about what they wish to be different, so start there. List all the things that you don't want anymore or that you wish to be different. Get mad if you want to, write down every annoying little thing that you are no longer happy with in your life.
Then, once you have exhausted the list, look back at what you have written down and try to categorise the areas of your life that these things come under.
Handy Hint - write down each of your 'don't want' points on a post-it note so that you can move them around under different headings.
You might have a few of the following headings to work under:
Work
Friendships
Family
Relationships
Money
Holidays
Home
Me Time
Some things will come under more than one heading but choose the heading that is most affected by your 'don't want'. For example, 'I don't want to have to work until 8pm every night' could come under work, family, relationships, friendships and Me Time but choose the area that is most affected by the fact that you work these hours. Work is not that affected, in fact, if you found something you really loved you might be happily and joyfully working until 8pm as long as it didn't affect your family - so family is maybe the category that is most affected.
Once you have done this, look back and see which category is the most affected by your current situation. This is the category you should start looking at first.
Take your first category and start to change those 'don't wants' into 'Positive Desires'. Positive Desires are the same thing put in a different way and it's an important step towards achieving. Positive Desires need to be phrased in a particular way for them to be powerful enough to help you move towards them.
If your current 'don't want' is: I don't want to work until 8pm every night. Think carefully about why you don't want this anymore. What would you prefer to be doing instead? Perhaps you would prefer to be spending time with friends, perhaps you would like to have time to cook more meals, maybe you want to be spending quality time with your children or partner? Whatever it is that working till 8pm prevents you from doing, try to identify it. Maybe it't just that you want this time back to use as you please and not for a specific purpose, that's good too.
So now to re-word your 'don't want'.
I don't want to work until 8pm every night would become I have lots of spare time during which I....
Notice that this new desire is set in the present tense so that your mind is becoming rewired to believe that it is already happening. By doing this you are allowing your brain the freedom to recognise opportunities for free time and to point these out to you on a subconscious level. The brain responds to what you tell it - if you tell it that you have no free time it will seek out ways to confirm this and 'no free time' is all you will see. There is lots of evidence to support this. Derren Brown repeated a well known experiment where he asked people in the street to look through a newspaper to find a specific article. Their brains were focused on only this so they missed completely the full page advert in bold type which said something like 'If you see this you will be given £100!' Their brains were not open to seeing anything else because they had been told that there was an article they had to look for and everything else was ignored. Make sure that you are telling your brain the right things to look for or it will find only the things you have focused on. Focus on 'no time' and 'no time' is exactly what your brain is programmed to look for and find evidence of.
Once you have turned all your 'don't want's into Positive Desires sit back and see what kind of life you have outlined for yourself.
Imagine in vivid detail what life would look like if it was lived in line with all your Positive Desires. Close your eyes and see it. See the life in which you wake up happy and full of energy, where your working life is a joy that you look forward to, where you have time for all the things you enjoy, where all the bills get paid easily and with money still in the bank for all kinds of exciting things, where you have reconnected with those around you, where your relationships are thriving and you are living in the house of your dreams. Try not to censor this, immerse yourself in it fully and enjoy it the same way you would enjoy a wonderful dream. Feelings are the key to giving life to your dreams - so feel every happy moment of this life you have created through your Positive Desires.
Outline your ideal day.
Once you have seen this and enjoyed it, take a new piece of paper (I keep a journal for the purpose of all these exercises) and write in detail your ideal day. Write what would happen from the moment you wake to the moment you go to sleep and make it the most perfect day you could ever imagine.
Read this every day if you can. Read your Positive Desires everyday and keep them up somewhere that will remind you to read them through (I have a lovely framed whiteboard in my breakfast room and I write one of my affirmations, or a positive thought on here with a silly little picture next to it every week. My son always reads it and the two of us have it in full view every morning so that we can take it in even without really noticing most of the time).
Before you go to sleep each night imagine your life as you desire it and see yourself living this life.
Feel happy as you do so (feeling depressed because it hasn't happened yet will trick your brain into thinking you will never have it and 'I will never have it' is what your brain will begin to find opportunities to confirm).
Once you have got into this mind set, finding what you want to do is much easier. What job or business could you do that would meet the checklist criteria for your new imagined life? What would bring you great joy? The money side of things will be covered in a later blog but for now you need to define what you want, not what would bring you the most money - that's never going to work out long term.
What is your ideal life? What would an ideal day be for you? Share it!
Love Nova xx
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