Tuesday, 11 August 2015

My letter to you...life does get better



Dearest you,

I hear how you have been finding life frustrating recently, how you have been spending time thinking about how you could improve your life and even wondering sometimes if it is not your life that needs improving but that maybe you yourself are to blame for this life you find yourself in. 

I know that life has stopped feeling enjoyable, that you go through the motions but you are just not 'feeling' it anymore. I know that you want to be that carefree, happy you that you once were, that you can't quite understand where she has gone or why she ever left. I know that you have more to offer than you are able to through your day to day life at the moment, I know that stuck inside you is this caring, full of ideas and full of wisdom and full of joy person who doesn't get listened to much. 

I know that you want to feel like you belong more, just to feel like you belong in your own life would be a nice start...I know that you are losing heart with it all and wondering if it even matters when there is so much else to worry about. I know that you have dreams but you never find the time, money or energy to realise them, in fact you had mostly forgotten them and consigned them to the corner of your mind that you don't go to much called 'if only'. 

I know that you long to feel alive again, to feel loved again, to feel worthwhile again, to feel recognised, part of something, in touch with something larger than the monotony of life as it is at the moment. I know that your soul whispers to you and your heart cries sometimes and wonders why things are as they are. 

I know, I hear you, life can and will get better...I can promise you that.

Love Nova xxx

Monday, 10 August 2015

Manifesting, Radio Show

It's Monday again! Have a wonderful week!

 

To start you off on a wonderful week ahead here is my last radio show on Manifesting you can now listen to it here on Sound Cloud!






If you enjoyed it then tune in this week for the first in a series on Loving your Life or why not take that step to book a call with me for free to find out how my 'Love your Life' coaching package or my 'Esteem Queen' package might be right for you!


www.lovelivingevents.co.uk
info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

Monday, 3 August 2015

What's the Big Deal about Confidence??

Image result for confidence

What's the Big Deal About Confidence?

I walked into my first networking event, a shy 21 year old and headed straight for the teas and coffees. My hand shook a little as I tried to pour the hot liquid into a cup and I knew that my nerves were giving me away. I took a quick glance around me and decided to be very brave and head towards someone else standing on their own. I said a quiet 'hi' as I stood alongside her and asked her what she did, she took one look at my youthful (I still looked about 12), scared face and my shaking hands and waved to an imaginary person across the room before making her apologies and moving swiftly away. It destroyed my already wavering confidence and I didn't dare talk to another person that night, busying myself on my phone instead and trying to look important (or about as important as a 12 year old might look in a room full of business owners). The fact was that I didn't feel important, I didn't feel like I belonged there, I didn't feel like anyone would want to talk to me and the events of that night just served to confirm I was right.

I don't recognise that person now, I can't imagine why she had such a hard time talking to new people. These days I have delivered talks to 200 rowdy sixth formers all sat staring at me on a stage, I have worked with high profile businesses and advised them on how to move forward, I have worked with individuals to help them see the amazing person that they are and now I run a business that offers self development events, talks and workshops. I don't always feel confident, no one does...I still feel that girl that I was getting anxious before a meeting or feeling out of her depth and suffering from imposter syndrome...but I can remember that the girl I was, is not who I choose to be now and that I have another 25 years of experience on top to reassure me that things have changed dramatically.

Do you need to wait another 25 years to change how confident you feel? No, of course not. In fact things changed very quickly after that networking event for me, it was a turning point and here are my tips for how you can do the same...


Go easy on yourself – There is nothing intrinsically wrong with who you are, if you are naturally shy that's ok, let that be a part of who you are, start where you are right now. Look at how you would like to be, do you want to be able to talk to new people with confidence, to be able to tell people about who you are or what you do without feeling embarrassed or ashamed? What exactly is it that you want to change? Know that where you are now is the result of what has happened in your life up till now. You are not as confident as you could be because it has served you to be that way. It protected you from difficult situations, it saved you from talking to people you don't like, it has been your friend...but now, perhaps, it is serving you no longer, now it is perhaps holding you back. Say thank you to yourself for the way it has helped you in the past but know that you make a different choice now so that life can develop in the way you want it to.

Know that being confident is ok - For me, a big step forward was realising that I didn't need to be arrogant or boastful in order to appear confident – the people around me that were the most genuine, the most authentic and who were prepared to be vulnerable were also the people that came across as the most confident. Confidence is just about being you, about sharing with others, about listening to others and finding ways to connect that feels comfortable and authentic. I felt much more comfortable about appearing 'confident' when I got out of my head the idea that confident people were also insufferably arrogant!

You don't have to talk to be confident around others - Start by just asking questions, start by listening, be as quiet as you like and just figure out who the person is that you are talking to. You don't need to tell them everything about you, just ask them about who they are until you have an idea of how you can connect to them on a topic or an idea that you feel comfortable discussing. Start small, take props if you need them that you can fall back on when you feel a little anxious, but don't bury yourself, keep your eyes on the room and on the people in it. Look for people who seem a little lost and walk over to them and say something like 'Hi, I haven't been here before have you?'

Remember to be human – sometimes in work situations we assume a professional air that we use as a way to be someone that others will want to invest in. That's ok, it helps sometimes to be behind a professional title, to represent a business or a company instead of ourselves, it can help us to feel more confident. It is also important for confidence overall though, to remember that we are all human. Sometimes it is easier to connect with someone when you are able to add a little bit of yourself into the proceedings. I'm not talking about over sharing or saying something inappropriate to someone you have only just met, but something simple like 'do you fancy sitting down, my feet are killing me' can just break the ice and give the other person the chance to say 'oh me too I've walked all the way here today'...or whatever.

Remember that others successes are not your failures – when we don't feel very confident it's easy to feel that when someone else does well or when someone is good at something, that it is a direct reflection on us. We feel that somehow the fact that they have done well highlights the fact that we are not doing as well ourselves...let this idea go, it only works against you. You haven't failed, you haven't become less because they have become more. In fact, what has happened is that you have highlighted to yourself where you would like to be – this is a great thing! It shows you where to go next, what to work towards and it is a gift to you because it proves that if one human can do it, so can another – you have just been shown proof that it is possible. Just as there is not just one winning lottery ticket, not just one successful business, not just one wonderful marriage, not just one person who changed their life, the person you see being successful is not the only one who can do it – even if it is in the same thing you want to be successful in, there is room for you to do the same.

Find a way to reassure yourself – Facing new or difficult situations is easier when you know that you have found a strategy that works to keep anxiety at bay. I used to feel sick whenever I had to do a talk, go to a place on my own when I didn't know anyone etc. I would actually physically start to feel so sick that I could hardly move. It was a fabulous excuse that my mind made up so that I wouldn't have to face those situations, I could just say I was ill! One day though I was so sick of feeling sick (!) that I purchased some of those pressure point bands that you wear on your wrists and instantly felt better. I began to take them with me wherever I went because I then knew that I had a way of coping with the sick feeling. After a while I never actually needed them but I carried them with me anyway just as reassurance, eventually I forgot all about them and never needed them again. Find your own crutch (a positive one...we are not talking about a crafty vodka every time you meet new people) that you can use for a little while, something that gives you reassurance and then let it go when you are ready.

So what's the big deal about confidence? There isn't one really...it's no big deal. Be you and let others see it, that's all you need to do. The more you let others see you the more they want to be around you and the more others want to be around you the more confident you feel about who you are...no big deal at all. 

If confidence is an issue for you then have a chat with me and let's see if coaching might help...there is no obligation and I might even be able to help in the half hour chat we can have about where you are right now...Book your FREE slot or email: info@lovelivingevents.co.uk


Love Nova xxx 

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

A Personal Invitation to You


This invitation is for you, 

for the person reading this who stumbled across it because it was the right time for you to hear the words and the right moment for you to receive this special invitation. I have deliberately not shared this post anywhere or publicised it because it is just for those people who have been led here one way or another and found it just when they need it the most. It's how all the best things have come to me and now I am finding a way to reach you so that you can have that experience too.

This is an personal invitation for you to move forward towards everything that you want in your life, to finally discover what it is that you are meant to do, who you are meant to be and where you are meant to go.

Wherever you are and whatever you do, we can work together to ensure your happiness once more. No one is meant to be sad or lonely, you only need to remember who you are and the whole world will change in response to your remembering. 

I invite you now if you are tired of life not working for you, if you are sad at the way things have turned out, if you are weary from the journey and wondering if those dreams you had are lost forever to contact me and start your path back to the best you possible.

I am here, so are you now...let's go forward together....

Love Nova xxx

info@lovelivingevents.co.uk

Friday, 10 July 2015

Learning to Listen to Our Feelings


You can listen to my podcast for the School Run with Victoria Casebourne and find out how to listen to your feelings so that you can discover what is really going on underneath all the frustrations and fears...

Here is the link! I hope you enjoy it...


For more information on any of our talks and workshops please go to: http://www.lovelivingevents.co.uk/#!self-development-events/c1jkh

To have coaching with me please go to: 

To get your FREE Magnetic Marketing workbook please visit the site and fill in your email when prompted! 

Love Nova xxx

10 Unusual Things that Make or Break an Event!



Over the years I've run all kinds of events, from Weddings to Corporate Training, from the School Fete to Family Fun Day's at Tourist Venues and now I run talks and workshops to inspire people to love their lives. Events were great for me because I love organising, I love thinking of interesting ways to market events and I enjoy the pleasure people get from attending events and I've learnt a huge amount along the way...

This is a list of things that I learnt, what mistakes were made, what successes were had and how you can run a speaking or workshop style event that top's them all!

1) Only work with speakers that you like...

I have had the pleasure of meeting lots of people who want to offer talks and workshops over the years and I used to say yes to anyone and everyone - sometimes I wouldn't even have met them I just saw an email or had a quick phone call with them and fitted them in one way or another. Slowly I began to realise that this was not the best way to push forward any business that I was working with or for (after all most events are created to promote something else rather than just events in themselves).

  • Whoever you have as a guest, stall holder, speaker, trainer, demonstrator etc has to be a good fit for your business - not just as another business but the actual person who will be attending the event. 
  • Meet with them, talk to them, find out what they are like, how they talk, promote, interact and then decide whether they are actually the right person for what you are trying to achieve. It's ok to say no - even if they are the most popular person on the planet - if it doesn't fit with your desired outcomes.
 I once met a potential speaker after I asked for an introduction having liked some of their work, I instantly knew that they were not right for what I wanted to achieve. They were a big player in their world and I felt like maybe I should have them just for this reason but I knew absolutely that it wasn't a good fit, not long afterwards I found someone else who was a perfect fit and I was so relieved that I had said no to the other person!
2) Make sure your speakers have their own story...

I love to have speakers who talk from the heart, who can be vulnerable enough with their own story to share a little part of it with the audience...I personally feel it can be a great way to engage others and help them to feel more secure in exploring their own story or opening up to the new ideas that the speaker presents. If you have someone who is unwilling to be open then ask yourself whether they will really bring anything to the audience (who they are essentially asking to be open by listening to them) - how can they ask others to be open when they themselves are not? Openness is not about sharing your entire life story with the audience or telling them every awful thing that has ever happened in order to demonstrate how they can relate...it is simply about not hiding their humanity.

3) Pick a venue suited to the feel and outcomes you want to create for your event

This sounds pretty obvious but it can be overlooked. Venue is not the be all and end all when you are trying to pull in a crowd but it does have a bearing on the attraction and outcomes of the event.

  • If you have an intimate workshop in mind and hold it in a huge village hall that feels very cold or lacks any kind of cosiness then you may find that a) people are not as willing to attend and b) they are less willing to take part within the session if they do attend because the space feels to daunting or overwhelming for them to be able to speak or share.
  • The venue should always have the same feel that you are trying to create for the event itself - if you want people to feel energised, choose somewhere near water or with a golf club attached, or in a gym or with lots of colour. 
  • If you want people to create meaningful relationships with each other during an event choose somewhere more nurturing - at a spa, in a log cabin in the woods (as long as it's not the creepy kind!), somewhere with a big fireplace, somewhere with natural surroundings etc.  
  • If you are holding an event that needs to be really focused on the speaker (rather than the attendees) because you want to create excitement around what they are saying choose a venue with a stage and proper lighting or a space where the speaker stands that draws the eye with very little other distractions - like a theatre or somewhere without huge windows etc. 
  • If you want big changes to occur choose a venue with a challenge - a venue that is super expensive, a venue that is very unusual, a venue that sparks the imagination, involves a different mode of travel to get there - let it reflect the outcome you desire.

4) Close the gap between old and new behaviours

  • What will people get out of your event? 
  • What is the behaviour they want to change and what new behaviour are they hoping to come away with? 
  • What will change for them? 
  • What will they achieve? 
  • Why should they give up their time and money? 
  • Why is this more important than something else they could be doing? 
You have an event that looks at self sabotage for example, the main selling point is not that you will be talking about what self sabotage looks like but that you will SHOW them HOW to move out of this state and into self belief instead - the old behaviour is what they will recognise as needing change and the new desired behaviour is what will make them book a ticket. 
5) Create your title carefully

When you are selling a talk you need to bear in mind the thought process of the audience. I recently created a small, intimate workshop for people who wanted to learn to love again after experiencing heartbreak. It was a lovely lady coming to run it and I knew it would be incredibly valuable to those who attended.

What I hadn't taken into consideration was the fact that not many people were willing to attend a talk with this title because it implied something about their lives and their hearts that they didn't want others to know about them. There was lots of interest but also lots of worried questions about whether people would know they were attending, would there be confidentiality assured etc.

People were attracted to it but not willing to tell the world that they were 'that person' who had been heartbroken - it was too personal to them. So in the end we ran this as an online seminar so that people could remain anonymous and it worked much better.

The same goes for talks around confidence - who wants to tell their friends that they are attending a talk on how to be more confident - if you are not very confident already this is probably the last thing you want to admit and to get more bums on seats you want people to shout about the events and invite all their friends! You can still do a talk on confidence but call it something like 'Shout it out - the best you ever!' or something similar which implies the content but doesn't name and shame it (as it were).

6) The disgruntled customer is your lead to the next talk title

Feedback is your magic potion for creating better events...there will always be a time when you find someone is disgruntled because of something that is inside them that the event didn't satisfy, these people are great because you can really get to the heart of what it was that they were expecting.

  • Did you oversell the content and outcomes? 
  • Did you give enough content for people to actually make changes or was it simply that the person in question was not ready to hear the message? 
  • If they were not ready to hear the message - what message would have reached them more clearly? If you can find out you might have your next talk title created for you! 
Perhaps you organised a talk on Angels or something more unusual and got someone there who thought it was all a load of rubbish - talk to them,
  • why did they attend? 
  • Did they want absolute proof?
  • Do they have a need to see something that the talk did not provide?
Dig for more insight so that you can sell talks both more clearly and transparently but also so that you can figure out a way to do the same talk again on a different level - perhaps a talk on the different ways in which you can sense, feel and communicate with the angels/universe/whatever your thing is would be a good one to introduce people to the fact that it is not all about one big massive reveal but an on-going relationship with self....
7) Find something rare and well known

Recently I went to an airshow with the Vulcan - it is the Vulcan's last flying season and she doesn't fly often. The airshow sold out, I was privy to the profit they made (which was way above their projections) and people came from miles around, camped out, watched from anywhere they could nearby if they didn't get tickets and the plane only flew for a grand total of 9 minutes.

The reason this event was such a huge success was because they found something rare and something that lot's of people had heard of. If you can find this you are on to a winner.

My own example of this was when I got to ask Nick Hewer from The Apprentice (well known) one question (rare) and could then share the answer on my blog - it still has hundreds of hits a day because it fits the formula. In terms of speaking events try to find either a well known speaker who has not spoken for a long time or rarely speaks now, or try arrange a talk on a subject that is well known but rare to be able to access in the form of a talk...I'll leave that one with you!

8) Don't let small numbers put you off

The key thing with events is to get going with them. If you only have a small number of people attending for the first few then go with it - sometimes that actually works much better when you are trying to build up a following for a particular speaker or a particular subject matter or a new business because you can really talk to the attendees and spend time with them.

 This is great if you are hoping to get them to spread the word for you or to go on to work with you further because you have time to get to all of them individually and ask for more in-depth feedback. It is also a great way of learning how everything is going to work and ironing out the kinks before the numbers get higher...just go for it!

9) Always put a little bit of you into each event, whether you are the speaker or the organiser

There are hundreds of events out there, but yours are the only ones run by you...you are what sell's it at the end of the day, the way you word things in your marketing, the way you talk about the event in your conversations, the mission you have for the events, the uniqueness that you bring to every interaction...always use that in your favour, don't be generic, don't be a copycat, be you and only you.

10) Always know what you want to achieve

For my events with Love Living I know exactly what I want to achieve...

I want people to be able to dip their toe into lots of different ways of accessing and activating their self development so that they find a fit for them and can be inspired to love their life. I don't want to up-sell, to convert everyone or for everyone to buy my book or sign up to my course...I just want to allow space and ideas to be shared until people find what they are looking for.

If they decide that it's working with me that they are looking for then wonderful, that's perfect...if they also decide that it's working with someone else or trying something different or nothing at all, that's perfect too because it is what is right for them.

Know what you want from every event so you can be clear on how it is represented, what the expectations are and what the mission is at the end of the day, what you need to bring to the event (do you want to be able to take further payments, sign up clients straight away etc) and what the next steps that you want people to take are going to be and how you will show them to that next step.

To find out what events we have coming up please visit our website www.lovelivingevents.co.uk or to find out more about Coaching and Training with me please click here or visit the website.

For a FREE gift of our Magnetic Marketing Workbook to accelerate your business to the next level please click HERE and enter your email in the pop up box.

Love Nova xxx

Thursday, 9 July 2015

The Myth of Being in the Spotlight


How would it feel to be in the spotlight? How would it feel to place yourself in a position where you were the main event? Where all eyes are on you? Where people were hanging on your every word, waiting for your command, wanting you to take the lead?



Is it exciting? Terrifying? Daunting? Somewhere in between?



Would you run a mile from being in that position or do you want to work your way up to that but haven't quite plucked up the nerve yet?



Being in the spotlight is a place of vulnerability, it opens us up to criticism, to greater responsibility, to commitment and to power and it can feel like a very scary place to be that many of us shy away from.



Often we take jobs that allow us to hide a little, that allow us to stay in the background more whilst we ponder on the role or the business we really want to be in and watch others do well at...this is actually particularly true when what we actually want is something totally different to what we currently do. It may not matter to you to be in the spotlight in your role as a Manager for example but if what you really wish you could do is speak in front of hundreds on a big stage about what you truly feel passionate about you suddenly feel afraid - even though this is what you want more than the job as the Manager. Our real purpose and our real passions can be the hardest things to step into because they hold the most meaning for us and not getting them would be a bigger blow. But if we never even try then we are GUARANTEED to never get there.



The myth though is that we can avoid being in the spotlight, that we can avoid our fears of being who we are and shouting about it, that we are able to avoid responsibility, criticism, or power - because everything we do reflects to the world who we are, every thought we have or word we speak has power...being in the spotlight is totally unavoidable so be sure the spotlight is shining in the place you want it to, the place of truth of who you are.



The shy girl who says very little to others may assume she is never in the spotlight, but she is still noticed as the 'shy girl'...'oh she is the one who never says much and keeps herself to herself'...she has been recognised, only maybe not for who she really is, the shy girl is still in the spotlight only the light is shining on one aspect of her and the rest remains hidden. She may wish it to be this way but she has not avoided being seen, noticed or talked about...she is still in the spotlight. Maybe what she actually wants is to share her wealth of knowledge with others but she is afraid that people won't listen so the spotlight stays on her shyness and we are denied access to the rest of her light - more than that she is denied access to it as well...



So the question is not 'will I be seen?' but 'how do I want to be seen?'



If you long to be able to stand and deliver to others - if you want to shout about who you are and what you feel passionate about whether it is through writing, speaking, teaching, offering service - if you want to be heard and to deliver your message and to pass on to others what you know to be true for you...then don't be afraid of the spotlight...you are already in it, just not being shown in your full light and your full light is your best light so let it shine as brightly as it can.



Whatever you do for a living you are still going to be accountable, responsible and open to criticism for your role. You can do anything in the world and you will still be noticed...you could be a stagehand in a theatre and stay in the darkness and anonymity most of the time when a play is being performed but if you don't get the right thing into the right place at the right time you will be noticed and accountable. So do something that you love, not a thing that is nearly there but feels safer because you are less visible...you are never invisible so why not do the thing that you really want to do.



Why not be visible and accountable and responsible and open to criticism for the things you REALLY love, and really matter to you...don't live in the myth...live in the moment....


www.lovelivingevents.co.uk for all our talks and workshops and to find out how to book coaching with Nova and overcome your fears and blocks! 

Love Nova xxx