What Causes Depression and is Knowing the Cause Important?

We all have basic needs as humans and if one of these is not being met it can collapse the foundations of who we are and leave us in disarray and feeling unsafe - a major cause of depression.

What are our basic human needs?

According to Maslow and the Hierarchy of Needs we all need the basics to be covered first - these are the needs of the body - to be clothed, fed, in reasonable health and functioning as we should at a Physiological level.

After this is covered we need to feel safe, then to feel loved and as though we belong, then to love ourselves and feel we are worthwhile and then to take this to the highest level of needs which is to feel that we are 'self actualised' that we are moral, creative beings who are happily creating our lives as we want them to be.

The problem comes when one of these areas is either not being fulfilled or that we are unable to view them as being fulfilled (even if others would think that we DO already possess these things).

Depression often originates at the safety level (although it can also stem from any of the levels at any time if we are not aware of our own triggers). This means that Depression is usually triggered by an event or thoughts that threatens our sense of safety - even if that is only recognised on a subconscious level and even if that sense of safety is not literally being threatened (there is no gun to your head but you still feel afraid for example).

When we have a lack of money, when our job has changed, when we have a new baby or a new relationship, when we have a relationship breakdown, when we move house, when we experience changes to our health - these are all common times at which we can perceive our safety as being threatened temporarily or (depending on how robust the others levels of our life currently are) we may even see safety as being absent completely. This is scary and it leads to scary thoughts that start off a downwards spiral that we need to catch quickly and turn around if depression is to be avoided. This is why those who think positively (either because they always do that or because they have learnt the skill and art of practising this regularly) are less likely to experience depression - they stop the downwards spiral quickly and naturally through various means and various behaviours. 

But what about if none of the above applies to you? Firstly it is important to check whether they are no longer an issue but were still the trigger for the initial emotional changes that led to depression (I cover that later on in the post) and secondly it may be that Depression has been triggered at a different level and we can look at that more now...

As previously mentioned depression can occur when any of the levels in the hierarchy are missing or any element of each level. Have a look at the common triggers for depression below and try to identify where it may have stemmed from...remember that often if depression has been there for a while there can be a whole chain of events that is triggered after the first trigger...what may have started as a sense of isolation may have led to a lack of self esteem, a lack of spontaneity, anger and blame etc, what we are looking for is the initial trigger that started the depression.

Have a look at the list but look at it from the point of view of when the depression FIRST occurred. Think back to when you felt ok and try to ask yourself what happened just before things changed for you...this is your initial trigger.

The common reasons for depression occurring are as follows:

• Loneliness and Isolation 
• Blame and Anger 
• Lack of Control 
• Criticism of self or others
• Complaining & Focusing on the negative 
• Comparison to others 
• Overexposure to negativity 
• No direction, lack of meaningful goals
• Giving in to fear
• Failure to be 'in the moment' - living in the past or the predicted future
• Lack of social support
• Recent stressful events
• Family history of depression
• Relationship problems
• Financial strain
• Childhood trauma or abuse
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Unemployment, underemployment or changing jobs/roles
• Health problems or chronic pain
• Recently quitting smoking
• Death of a loved one
• Inability to effectively deal with stress

You can see from this list that they all refer to a human need that is not being met - in order to feel better you need to meet the need that is missing and this is why knowing the cause can be extremely helpful. You need to know what you are missing before you can fill the gap.

There are of course, some needs that cannot be met in the usual way - for example if depression is as a result of grief, sadly you cannot meet the need of having that person back. The depression will in time and with the right support, give way to a different emotion and many people in this situation divert their depression by putting all their energy into something new that in some way or another that is right for them feels better than the emotions they felt before - perhaps by fundraising, helping others, living life differently etc. I am covering this briefly here not because I don't care about this or think it is not worthy of covering in more depth but because I cannot give it justice in such a short space...if this is something you would like to explore further or get some support with please contact me or look for local support services in your area.

The majority of the time though the causes of Depression can be worked with relatively quickly and easily if you are willing to move forward.

Knowing the cause is the first step, taking action to ensure things change is the next step.

What has been the cause of depression for you? Can you identify it? Is it helpful to you to know this initial cause? What action can you take to address the missing factors in your hierarchy? Do you need some help to identify what changed for you?

To join in the discussion at Positive Potential, the facebook group for those who both support those with depression, anxiety and stress and who explore the issues in a safe place please click on the link and ask to join.

Positive Potential is a self development programme that aims to end depression, stress and anxiety with my support and lots of helpful materials. If you would like to find out more about the different levels of support available please click here.

Love Nova xxx

Is what you are experiencing Stress or Anxiety? You May be Surprised!

Often when I am working with clients they may come feeling 'stressed' or they may explain that they are feeling 'anxious'. What has surprised me and this is why I am writing about it, it that so many times the two are mixed up - someone who is feeling anxious in their words is actually not experiencing anxiety at all but they DO have a very high stress score.

Other times when people come saying they feel stressed the stress score is normal but the depression or anxiety score is high...so why does this happen and what is the difference?

Stress is often used as a catch all term for feeling like you are not coping as well as you used to. You know that something has changed but you are not sure what but you do find yourself acting somewhat out of character or feeling 'not quite yourself'.

To find out what your Stress, Anxiety or Depression score is you can test it yourself here using my slightly adapted version of the DASS scale. The results might surprise you! 

As a quick breakdown of the difference in the symptoms see which of the following set of statements you agree with the most: 

SET 1

• I find it hard to wind down
• I've been overreacting to things I wouldn't normally overreact to recently
• I've felt a nervous type of energy in my body
• I am annoyed whenever I am interrupted from what I am doing

SET 2

• I have been aware that my heart has been racing
• I have been worried about being in new situations
• I have felt on the edge of panic at times
• My mouth has felt quite dry

SET 3

• Getting motivated has been hard recently
• I've found it hard to be positive
• I'm taking a lot of unnecessary risks lately
• I find it harder to make decisions than I used to

If you identify more with SET 1 then you are identifying more with stress symptoms
If you identify more with SET 2 then this is a sign of anxiety
SET 3 is describing signs of depression

You may have noticed that lots of the statements are quite similar to one another - for example feeling a nervous energy in your body and feeling on the edge of panic or feeling your heart racing are all so close in their descriptions that it may be hard to know which it is that you are feeling.

Why is it important to distinguish between them? 

It's not necessarily important - but it can be helpful. If a child has a learning difficulty we generally don't leave it at that, we seek to learn exactly what that difficulty is so that we can help them in the appropriate way and employ the specific tools that work for that situation.

It is the same with your wellbeing - if you know that what you have been feeling is not stress at all but actually depression, some of the ways in which you may approach the journey back to wellness will be the same but others will be different and more specific. It just helps to know exactly what is occurring.

To work with me through my 10wk programme Positive Potential to end Stress, Depression and Anxiety please email me or click through to the website to learn more.

I offer support and help through my Facebook group for free too, why not join and have a look at the amazing people there who are all willing to talk and support.

Love Nova xxx

The Beast that is Depression and how to Tame it

When I had post natal depression I could describe it no other way than to say that it was as though my world had fallen apart inside me.

My logical brain was locked in battle with my depression brain which told me a completely different story to the one that I knew I should be telling myself.

It wasn't helped by comments like 'yeah but you haven't got it as bad as some people have' or 'well you seem fine to me'...of course I SEEM fine I'm doing that for YOU, I'm being FINE so that you don't see the world of sadness that I live in and move away from me.

It's hard in some ways to recall the feelings that I had, I've never had them again with the same force as before...I get 'twinges' now and again but I recognise them now and I do something about them damn quick because what I do know is that I never want to feel that way again.

I remember the fog...the loss of meaning...the loss of hope...the grief over no longer being 'me' or the me I knew before. I remember the feeling that I wished with all my might that I would wake up the next day and feel better again and the resignation when I didn't.

I remember the guilt too because I had this amazing baby, this beautiful boy who slept well, who ate well, who was well and who continues to this day to be completely incredible...how could I, how could I feel so down when I had him in my life? It felt like a total betrayal, I was betraying him to feel that way when he was so wonderful...would he know I felt that way? Would he blame me or feel that in some way he was to blame? Why couldn't I just feel elated and happy and normal and safe?

There were several factors at play for me that pre-disposed me to PND:

• The first was that I had got pregnant (all planned and wanted) very early into a relationship with someone much older who I actually wasn't that sure about.

• I wasn't near any friends or family, I was very isolated and lonely.

• I knew in my heart of hearts that the man I was engaged to was not going to marry me and I was already feeling rejected and hurt by that.

• I had a fairly traumatic birth (my son came out back to back, his umbilical cord was tied in a knot and they had to suddenly get him out very quickly).

• I was still quite young and overwhelmed (I was 24 and I didn't know any other mothers my age).

• We moved to another country soon after my son was born and I was even more isolated.

So what helped me get better?

1) Talking every single day to someone who cared and didn't mind if I had very little to say (my mum called every day).

2) Focusing on helping other mums in the same situation I was in (I started a magazine so that other mums who were feeling lonely could connect and read articles and find out where local groups were running).

3) Forcing myself to exercise every day - a walk with the pram, doing a yoga DVD whilst my son slept, anything I could.

4) My NCT group...although I often felt just as alone when I was with them I met up with them every week and every week I would feel a little bit better.

5) Focusing on how much I loved my child, focusing on making him laugh and smile (because that made me laugh and smile), focusing on his fingers around mine, focus, focus, focus...being just in the moment.

6) Sorting out my diet - I ate less sugar, drank more green tea, took a seaweed supplement and ate less at each meal so I didn't feel too full (that gave me less energy).

7) Never acknowledging that depression had a hold...I always just looked to feeling better and placed my attention on that.

8) Wise words from a friend that I repeated like a mantra 'this too will pass' (it did).

9) Listening to music - loudly and only upbeat music!

10) Meditation - I didn't get it at first, I didn't see the point or feel I had the time. After a while I made the time - I took my son to a childminder for an hour twice a week and used that hour to meditate and feel good again...after a while the meditation turned into the most amazing experience, I still have never felt the same depth of joy as I did after one particular meditation session...It was pretty magical!

Have you ever experienced depression? What helped you? What 'brought you back'? 

If you would like to join my Facebook Group Positive Potential where we support those with Stress, Anxiety and Depression and exchange ideas on how to improve the wellbeing of humans in general, please click the link and ask to join (anyone can join by the way...it's a closed group because I wanted to ensure that anything shared there is not seen publicly, only by the group).

If you would like to find out more about how my Coaching and Psychotherapy services might be able to help you or someone you know, please visit my website Love Living

Love Nova xxx

How you Experience Me is Not Who I Am

When you come to experience someone, perhaps for the first time, perhaps the first of many times (each is the first time you have experienced them in this moment), what you experience is not who they are...

That person that you really don't like...that person you love...that person who annoys you...that waitress who flirts all the time....that bloke who can always do things just that little bit better than you (apparently)...they are all people that you are experiencing, but what you experience is not who they are...

Take you on a good day: 

You got up and your hair looked great, you were awake and fresh and feeling vibrant, you had a lovely breakfast, you popped into the local coffee shop to pick up a snack and a drink and because you feel so great you smile widely at the person behind the counter. You ask how they are, you wish them a good day, you are genuine, you are happy and you wanted them to feel good too...more than likely they will experience you as a bubbly, bright person that they enjoy seeing and left them feeling a little bit better than they did before as a result of having met you. Next time you see them they might even give you better service than normal, greet you with a smile, remember your order...

Take you on a bad day: 

The kids woke you up at some un-Godly hour, you didn't have time for a shower, you are tired, you have an appointment you need to get to and you are running late, the boiler broke this morning so you know that you can't even have a shower when you get home (unless you fancy a cold one) and the day has already gone to pot before you even started it. This time you go into the local coffee shop and snap at the person serving you because they are taking ages to notice that you are standing there (too busy chatting...what are you invisible??), they get the order wrong so they have to start again and now you are even more late, you scowl at them and pretend that you mean it when you say 'thank you' even though you think they did a sloppy job and should quite frankly get fired. More than likely the person who served you will experience you as moody, ungrateful, unaware that they were trying their best, that you think you are better than them, that you are looking tired and grubby and they would be glad if they never saw you again...

Both are different experiences of you, they are not who you are. You are not bubbly and bright, nor are you grumpy and annoyed - they are expressions of you at a certain point of time that reflect what was going on for you at that moment, they lead to an experience of you in another's eyes but they are not YOU. 

When you come across someone who holds a view of you because of a moment in time when they experienced you, try to remember that their impressions are formed in that moment and can last a lifetime unless they regularly experience you in another way after that (and even then it can be hard to shift first impressions).

By the same token, when you experience someone and you note that in that moment they are a reflection of tiredness, grumpiness, hostility or anything else you experience as negative that this is not who they are - this is just how you came to experience them in that one moment.

How will someone experience you today? How will you experience others? Will you see through your experience to something deeper in them? 

It is also important to note that how YOU are will affect how you experience another. If you are full of self-doubt and meet another who you find to be unkind towards you (or not, depending on your own personality) because your experience is coloured by your own emotions and your self doubt will muddy the waters of your perception in that moment.

Here is a quick checklist for showing up as your best self:

1. Remember that the first impression you give can end up being the ONLY impression someone ever holds of you - make it a great one!

2. Others appear to you as a reflection of their own current experience - leave room for your first impressions to be wrong when you meet someone.

3. Your own state of mind will affect how you see another - before you decide what you think of them, check in with yourself and see what might be going on that could have biased your view.

When have you experienced someone in a way that has coloured your judgement of them? When have you felt misunderstood for who you really are? What do you do to show up as your best self? 

Why life demands Miracle, Mystery and Authority

D.H Lawrence asks the question 'Will mankind always demand miracle, mystery and authority?'

Is that true? Even in today's society? Do we really still have a need for these things or is that just a past thought that is no longer true for us today in a world of science and logic?

Is it true that we really demand Miracles?

A quick search on the UK's Amazon website reveals that there are 39,367 books listed with the word 'miracle' in the title...something tells me we are still searching for a miracle, that we are still innately attracted to the idea that miracles exist.

A miracle is defined in the good old Oxford Dictionary as:

'An extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and therefore attributed to a divine agency'

or

'A remarkable event or development that brings very welcome consequences'

or

'An exceptional product or achievement, or an outstanding example of something'

It is perhaps no surprise then that the most watched TV shows ever in the world are the Superbowl championships in America, that the most watched TV broadcast EVER in the UK was the 1966 England World Cup win or that the most popular shows on TV now include all the reality shows that look for singing talent (you know the ones I mean I'm sure!) - we are constantly still drawn, like moths to a flame to any 'remarkable event or development that brings very welcome consequences'...they are miracles that give us hope and we can inhale that hope into our own lives as we watch the miracle unfold, as we wait with baited breath to see how things will turn out, as we cross our fingers, wiggle around on the edge of our seats in anticipation and feel more and more alive as that miracle feeds every soul who is watching/reading or experiencing in some way the amazing events that we see. It gives us hope that good things can happen, it gives us proof that good exists.

We LOVE to hope. Perhaps that is the meaning behind our need for miracles - we demand hope and miracles are proof that hope is worthwhile. It is worth holding out for more, for better, for the outside chance...because miracles do happen. If we believe in miracles, that belief can be the driving force that keeps us trying again and again to achieve something we want, to get well even if we are really poorly, to get up and dust ourselves down even when the going gets tough because we have hope, we have a belief in the fact that a miracle may just happen to us.

I'm sure it is no coincidence that the most popular self help book of all time is 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' a collection of stories that bring hope and explore the best examples of humanity - a collection of mini miracles for us to draw from, learn from and feel good about.

We need hope, we need miracles...it is our Chicken Soup for the Soul.

However, these are 'everyday' miracles, the David and Goliath moments that bring us together and bring us to life...what of the miracles that are described in the initial description in the dictionary?

Are we just as comfortable with the idea that a miracle is:


'An extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and therefore attributed to a divine agency'


The number of books sold on the subjects which explore this idea would suggest that whilst we may look to understand the mystery through science, logic, common sense and our own experiences we are still hugely enthralled by there being a 'higher power'. I recently read Jon Ronson's book 'The Men who Stare at Goats' and it seems that even within the realms of the CIA we are still looking for a power beyond ourselves to show that we can harness the power of miracles and hope that they may really exist - or that that higher power exists.

Is that then why religion still exists? Is that where our need for Authority comes in? Is our ultimate goal to discover that over and above any human authority figure we may look to, that there is a higher authority than that? A divine authority even?

Before we get into that...lets look at whether we demand mystery...

If mystery is defined by the fact that we need the unknown, that we need something to ponder on, something unsolved to put our minds to exploring and coming up with answers for then I would say that we can almost definitely answer that yes, we demand mystery. We LOVE a good mystery!

Do ghosts exist? Why are we here? How did life begin and why? Does he love me? Why do we die? What happens after we die? What is love? 

Every time we ask a question related to something we don't understand we are attempting to solve a mystery...even if it is only a mystery to ourselves...what is MY purpose, why do I keep procrastinating? Why is this rash on my face? Etc.

So there is mystery for as long as there are still questions...but do we need it?

To answer that we need to look at what would happen if there was no mystery. Imagine you wake up one morning and everything you ever wanted to know had been answered for you...imagine you could go to your computer and have a programme where you typed in any question you could possibly ever have and get an answer....

hmmm...sound like something we already have? Yup...we have this already, we have the answers to every question at our fingertips, it's called Google...so why do we feel like we haven't? Is it because we don't have one definitive answer to our questions? Is it because we have in fact got MANY answers? If we have a myriad of possibilities in terms of what answer we might find is it true therefore we have no real answers, only partial answers, only options for answers? Even the most seemingly definite of answers can be subjective if we want them to be - think of the person who has been told that they have incurable cancer only to find that actually it was curable because they no longer have it. Think of the person who was born a boy only to find that actually they were a girl in a boy's body...is there anything definitive at all in life and do we like it that way?

The moment we think we have the answers, more questions pop up. We thought we had it all sorted with the Big Bang theory....nope, that is still evolving as an answer too!

Perhaps the reason we will always have mystery (and want it) and will never have all the answers is because our truth is subjective and that's what we love about it - it means things can always change, it means there is always room for a miracle!

My truth on what is right and wrong is not the same truth for another. Mystery is there because we do not all experience life in the same way or through the same eyes or the same experiences.

I think a bit of mystery makes us feel more alive, it gives us a game to play, a childlike excitement that the answers are out there if we go looking for them, like a giant treasure hunt.

It's a bit like a relationship that has gone stale because there is no more mystery...life gets stale and boring when there is nothing new to bring to it...mystery is newness...we love something brand new or at least the possibility of it.

Do we demand Authority? 

As humans we strive to create answers to the miracles of life and expose the truths behind its mystery and we need someone in authority to deliver those answers before we will believe them.

There are so many aspects to Authority and the psychology connected to it that I cannot explore them all here...so for the purposes of keeping this as short as possible I have presented just one idea - that of Authority being our way of diminishing responsibility.

We demand that there is someone or something higher up the chain that we can blame if things go wrong:

'he told me to do it', 'life didn't give me any other option', 'God told me it was the right path'.

I think generally we demand authority because we don't want to feel responsible.

We even assign God this way out...'humanity is the way it is because I told them not to eat the apple and they did...NOT MY FAULT', really? Even God gets to blame someone else? What kind of an example is that to set? 

We want someone to tell us what to do, what the boundaries are, where is safe to explore - partly because if it goes wrong it is not our fault but also because we want to minimize other risks (not just the risk of having to be responsible), the risk of taking the wrong career path, the wrong turning on our way to somewhere new, marrying the wrong person etc.

Authority is in demand because it takes the pressure off us to make choices and also ensures that those choices, should they turn out not to be as great as we thought they would be, are not our fault.

Why does life demand Miracles, Mystery and Authority?

Because life without miracles is life without hope, life without mystery is life without new experiences, life without authority is life without boundaries or a safety net.

Whilst this is by no means the fullest exploration of this subject - so many other things came up when I was writing it, like our need for control and how this contrasts with our need for mystery, our need for solid explanation and how this contrasts with our need for inexplicable miracles, it is however a starting point for further discussion...

What are your thoughts? Do you demand these things in your life? Why? What is the deeper need behind it for you? If you don't demand them why not? 

Why we never tell the truth about failure, even when we think we do.

Ok so the title perhaps sounds a little harsh...do I mean that we deliberately don't tell the truth when we are honest about our failings or our vulnerability? No. Do I mean that it is never the whole truth? Yes.

You may know what I mean when I talk about 'failure posts' or vulnerability posts as they are otherwise known. There have been a spate of them on Facebook recently that I have noticed (and yes...I too wrote one, you can read it here). These are honest accounts of how life really is and how hard it can be to achieve the success that you see in the 'wow look at me' postings of others. Or they are a way of sharing difficult experiences so that others might be able to take away comfort, greater understanding or a feeling of not being alone, when they read them.

The 'wow look at me' posts I'm talking about are the ones you see that say:

'How I made 30K in less than a month'

'How I lost a stone in a week'

'How my blog went from 20 views to 100K in a fortnight'. 

Given that this is not the reality for the majority of people (it is also the truth for some), it is hardly surprising that eventually people started feeling rubbish enough about themselves that they started shouting 'er, nope, that's not how it was for me' to make us all feel better again.

So now we have the backlash, the honesty/failure posts...the ones that reveal the fact that you haven't worn make-up for months and sitting in front of a computer composing 'Oh my God I'm so in love with my life' posts just means that you got fat and wobbly from not actually being out enjoying that life. Are these just as fake as their counterparts? What should we believe? After writing my own failure post, which was indeed the most honest I have ever been online (even my family didn't know some of those things) - I considered this question of whether it was truly honest, not because it felt fake or contained lies (it didn't ) but because I realised it was a reflection of how I was feeling at that point and had I written it on another day I might not have said things in the same way, or shared them at all - because that would have been honest too - on that day, with those different feelings and that different perspective on life.

So should we be honest and raw in our online presence or should we project an image that is appealing and aspirational to others? Is there a happy medium? Are we really being honest with our honesty posts or are we just offering a reflection of current feelings that could on another day be totally different?

Are we being honest in our honesty posts?

The short answer is no, and yes. There is an honesty there without doubt, things that are hard to admit, that we debate about sharing in case they are too raw for public consumption and may harm our reputation. We don't want to be pigeon holed by an admission of the truth when that truth becomes a past experience or state of mind that is no longer true. If you spill the beans on how things are not going so great but then they turn around and everything is going brilliantly will you forever be remembered for the time it wasn't so good and penalised for that?

The truth is only ever a snapshot in time, a reflection of the present moment. What is true for us at one time is not true at another. What is true for one person is not true for all, and therefore full truth does not really exist apart from in our minds or during a certain moment. The truth is relative and expanding and changing and individual. Honesty posts are honest in what they say but dishonest in what they leave out...whether you are leaving out the good or the bad it is still not entirely honest, just as 'wow look at me' posts are not entirely honest. We are sharing a personal perspective from a specific period of time, not telling the whole truth of who we are and it is important to remember that this holds for both the positive and negative projections that we share with others. Holding people to an image of who they were, or who they are right now, instead of who they can become is human nature to a certain extent, but it doesn't ever serve another to hold them in a space they are no longer in or no longer want to be in.

The movement towards more authentic interaction and sharing the bad along with the good leads to some interesting questions:

If we are all forced to be completely authentic and everyone learns that everyone else is just as neurotic and worried as we are and has days where they are ill or lonely or in despair...does that mean there is nothing left to aspire to?

Does life lose it's magic if we learn the truth?

Remember Christmas when you believed in Santa Claus? It seemed so magical, so exciting, so wonderful to think of this man coming down the chimney and delivering these amazing presents. What is life without belief in a little magic? Do we really want everyone to be constantly honest and remind us that the magic of Santa Claus is not real? Remember the disappointment when you found out that it was just our normal boring old parents delivering the presents?

Do we secretly have a deep need for our celebrities to be exciting creatures with wonderful lives, for the President to be amazingly powerful and dynamic, for the Royal Family to walk around in glorified splendour? Sure, sometimes it's nice to see someone famous being normal but if we are all just 'normal' at heart then where do we look for inspiration to be more than normal, to be spectacular? I think we need a bit of magic, we need a few vanity posts, we need beautiful film stars and Princes and powerful people to raise our expectations of what is possible, of finding something magical.

So is there any real magic left?

Of course...you know there is some intangible magical thread running through you when you feel emotion too difficult to put into words...when you feel your child's fingers close around yours and their head nestling into you for love and comfort. When you fall in love and find someone who fills you with desire and hope and joy. When you read a book that ignites a fire inside you to be greater than you are today. When you see sorrow in another's eyes and are moved to help them, to offer them your hand in solidarity, to notice them and validate them. When you hear a song that moves you to tears or laugh until your stomach muscles knot. There is so much magic in the world, it is not for the few, it is not for the successful alone, it is not just for men or just for women, it is not judgemental, it does not only come after you have meditated, read a certain book or made a certain amount of money – it is there, all the time. True magic.

So should we be honest or be aspiring?

I think we should be honest (read authentic...I think it is a much better description) – and being authentic is about the good and the bad combined, it is honesty in all parts of who we are, rather than a series of confessions of where we went wrong. Life is not all bad, or all good, it changes, sometimes minute to minute, that is the honest truth.

So aspire to be greater than you are, be honest in knowing that any part of truth spoken is only a snapshot of a greater truth. Share the human experience in all it's forms so that we can not only recognise ourselves and each other but that we can remember that the outcome to life is never that we rose or that we fell, but that we did both and we held hands across the waves with each other as we did so. 

Love Nova xxx 

Reclaiming your Mojo Coaching Call - Part 4

So this is your fourth and final part of the Coaching Call series on Reclaiming your Mojo from my Radio show on South Waves Radio. I hope that it has been really helpful to you and that it has given you some clarity and ideas on how to proceed and to feel really energised and excited about life again!

If you would like to take this work further or if  you would like Coaching on any area in your life please get in touch or book your free Coaching Call 45min slot with me.

If you would like to find out more about my packages you can click through to the links that tell you more about each one:

Spiritual Balance Coaching 

Great for anyone who wants to integrate Spiritual Guidance with a practical plan for moving forward

VIP Intensive Day Retreats 

Great for those who want to achieve a huge amount in a short space of time and within a luxury setting

Esteem Queen Package 

Great for anyone who wants to work specifically on self esteem over a six week period

Love Living Package 

Great for anyone who knows that there is one of more areas of their live where they are no longer feeling the love or when they know they are not living the life they would really love to live, this three month package looks at all the areas of your life where you want to make changes.

Enjoy the final episode in this series and here's to reclaiming your mojo!