Retreat reflections

I spent last weekend at a wonderful retreat giving Spiritual Balance Counselling to the guests. Mellulah in Milton Abbas is a special place and the retreats that are held there by my gorgeous friend Saira Francis are always a treat.

The guests each had a session with me and it was a very special experience that I am very grateful to have been a part of. For obvious reasons I can't share with you what happened with each person but I can tell you that it taught me a great deal more about how we all share the same vulnerabilities, worries, hopes and fears. Sharing those with another person, an impartial person who is not there to judge but to listen, can be all that is needed for the burden to be lifted for a while and for the beginnings of clarity to arrive. You don't actually need another person in order for this to happen, counselling is simply facilitating - it is allocated time and space for you. It helps you to address the things that you have kept bottled up waiting for that moment called 'when I have more time'. The benefit of counselling, is that it gives a specific date and time for this to happen - it is an appointment with yourself. Having another person there, though not necessary, does help. It can be hard to work on yourself alone, to force yourself to look at things.

The other thing that counselling does is it gives your feelings an actual voice. So often we deal with things in our head, the voices go round and round as thoughts and they are never said out loud. There is great power in hearing your own voice say words that previously have only been thoughts. Saying things out loud allows you to analyse them properly - when you say it out loud does it still feel true? Or has your voice reminded you that this thought has been magnified to such an extent in your head that actually you do not have the strength of feeling about it that you thought you had. You can also find the opposite, saying something out loud has suddenly enabled you to face a deep truth and it is from this point that you will be able to move forward.

Acknowledgement of your feelings is important. It doesn't mean that acknowledging them will make them harder to shift or make them true - it simply allows you to 'try out' their truth and see whether they are still valid for you. If the feelings are valid and voicing them tells you that, yes, this truly is how I feel you can then get to a point of choice. You can choose whether to act on this truth, to hold it a little while longer until you know what you want to do, or to ignore it completely. The power is in the choice and knowing that you have the choice. Choosing to do nothing when you have fully acknowledged the truth of what you feel is still a choice that you have made in full awareness and that is far more beneficial to your well being than an unconscious choice to ignore something.

Love Nova xxx

Serendipity

How much does luck feature in our lives? How much do we owe to 'fate' or 'serendipity'? Have you ever seen your life take a dramatic change because of something unplanned that came about just because you were in the right place at the right time?

This is something I have been thinking about a lot recently, not least because of the place that luck has had in my own life and the unexpected twists and turns that have come about and changed the course of my life. There have been many chance meetings, chance discussions and opportunities that have suddenly appeared. It has always fascinated me and formed (in part) the basis of the idea for my book. Luck, I have learnt, doesn't come about entirely by chance, you have to be in it to win it as it were! Whenever I am open and whenever I am pushing myself to be in contact with as many people as possible on a regular basis, this is when things start to happen.

My latest exciting opportunity came about at a party. I had not planned to stay long at the party, feeling tired and like I wanted to go home early. In the end I decided to enjoy the moment and ended up staying the entire night! The following morning I was very glad that I did. I got involved in a conversation with someone that led to some fantastic work in a field I feel really passionate about and hope to be able to tell you more about very soon!

I also find that I have to be in a certain frame of mind to be receptive to things, I'm not even sure if I can describe it but maybe you already know what I mean? When I am feeling strong, sociable, confident and positive things move in the right direction without much help from me, they just 'flow'. On the other hand I am sure that there are opportunities that I have missed when I have just not been in this frame of mind for one reason or another. It's impossible to maintain a vibrant sense of optimism all the time but it is during these times of optimism that things come to us, in my experience at least!

If you want to improve your chances of increasing your luck there are plenty of articles on quitting the 9 to 5 that talk about how to improve your mood, have a look and see if this can get you into the mode of 'serendipity'.

What experiences of serendipity have you had in your life? How has it changed your life as a result? 

Love Nova xxx

www.lovelivingevents.co.uk

You are 5 times less likely to EVER feel fear after reading this.

I have been reading a really interesting book called 'Risk' by Dan Gardner. He looks at fear and how it affects our reactions and our memories. It examines how much we are driven by fear and evidently it is quite a lot.

In business and in life it is easy to react to scaremongering that tells you all kinds of facts and figures about the economy and the state of business in general. How often do we read that businesses are failing and things are generally all going wrong? That the end of the world is nigh? That we are all going to die from a terrible new disease? A ridiculous amount of the time. Does this mean though that it is really happening? What can we do to stop ourselves acting out of fear?

The book offers some fantastic insights into the way that our mind works and how we are fooled into believing things simply because our brains are wired to respond in a certain way.

For example: 

Which seems scarier?

• You have a 1 in 100 chance of getting Cancer before the age of 50?

• You have a 1% chance of getting Cancer before the age of 50?

Apart from the fact that I just made that up, I'm betting that you found the first statistic more worrying. Of course the truth is that they both say exactly the same thing. A 1% chance appears to be minuscule, you have a 99% chance of NOT getting it. Looking at the first assertion though, you suddenly equate that with real people, do you know 100 people? You probably do, which means one of those people will get it before the age of 50 and that could be you.

Another interesting fact is that although I told you I had made those figures up, part of your brain will recall these figures and start accepting it as a possible truth.

Here is another little challenge:

Was Micheal Jackson over the age of 15 when he died? Wait, that's a bit stupid...ok...How old was Micheal Jackson when he died?

For those of you who didn't google it or who didn't automatically know the answer - you will have been heavily influenced by the fact that I mentioned the number 15, you will have answered  lower in age than if I had first asked if he was over the age of 60 when he died. Even though I said it was stupid to say 15, your brain  will have been influenced as it made a best guess. Astonishing isn't it?!!

This happens when we go into shops - people buy more if there is a sign saying 'purchases limited to 10' and they will buy more than they expected because their brain is thinking '10' instead of say '2'. The number can be completely arbitrary and irrelevant and you will still link with it in some influential way.

So you can see how statistics in the papers and on the news can make us wary and frightened.

50,000 pedophiles are online at any one time, did you know that? 50,000 of them! Someone official said that so it must be true. Actually the truth is that we have no idea how many are online at any one time. This is a real life example of figures gone mad. Lots of different sources quoted this very specific number around the world. It was on the news, in the papers, online etc but the number was never credited to a source. When the original source was finally traced it turned out that it was a comment from someone who took a guess. It may be higher than the actual reality, it may be lower - the fact is, we don't know. It was a guess, a guess that was quoted and re-quoted in so many different places that it became fact. It bred fear, it made people afraid and the fear grew and grew.

Look at what happened with the millennium bug - there were whole news programmes dedicated to following the disaster and nothing happened even though lots of people of influence believed that it would.

Learning how fear works allows you to know that it is a useful, but limited emotion. It holds you where you are and doesn't allow you to move forward or to take risks. Some risks are very real - these are often the ones that we ignore because they happened a long time ago and the most time passes since the last time a risk didn't pay off the more we forget and assume it is safe. Take for example the MMR vaccine. Many many parents (myself included for a while) didn't get the MMR jab because we were told how dangerous it could potentially be in a small number of cases. What we forgot, because it had been so long since anyone died from Mumps or Measles, was how much more of a risk these diseases were compared to the small risk of a link to Autism. As a result the logic got twisted as a result of fear mongering and Measles again became a real risk and even resulted in deaths. The Autism scare was eventually shown to be exactly that - a scare, not a reality.

So...fear governs so much of our lives, maybe it is time we stood back and checked the facts, weighed up the logic and break away from the heavy and often inaccurate influences of the media and make our own minds up? What do you think?

Love Nova xxx

Top Ten Ideas for How Every Business Can Benefit from Making a Film!

Here's an idea for all of you who want to promote your business....why not get a DVD made?! You might want to showcase your services to people on your website or through YouTube or you may want to have a physical DVD that you can sell or give out to people as a promotional tool.

Here are my TOP TEN IDEAS for what to do with your DVD

1. Make a 'How To' guide for your target market

Do you make cakes? Do a short cookery programme! Do you sell property? Do a short programme on how to get your property ready for sale! Maybe you are a fitness instructor...do a short instructional DVD to sell to your customers so they can do the routine at home when they aren't at a class! There are so many possibilities here!

2. Make a training DVD

If you employ staff, if you sell to schools, if you run a franchise and need to train up new recruits, a training DVD can be the perfect way of introducing your business to new staff or to further train people that buy your services.

3. Showcase yourself

If you are your business you will need to create a brand that centres around you. If you are a public speaker, a healer, an actor, a writer, an artist or anything that involves selling yourself then use a DVD to show the world who you are and talk about what you do. Introduce yourself on a personal level to many more people than you can meet in person by creating a personal message that you communicate through the medium of a short film. You can then direct your customers to your film so that they can learn more about you and your style of communication.

4. Explain what you do

Perhaps you want to back up your marketing materials with something that is more immediate and easy to digest? Why not explain your services through a advertorial type of DVD? You can tell and show at the same time. One big advantage of this is that you are creating an intimacy with potential customers, they will have met you on screen, seen your premises on screen and perhaps met some of your staff - this can make a customer feel much more comfortable contacting you because they feel like they already know you on a different level to just having read about you on a screen.

5. Make a fictional film or a documentary to show your work in action

Sometimes the best way to show what you do is to document it in action. Maybe you want to create a metaphor that people can relate to and a fictional film can create this for you. If you work with young people you might want to create a fictional tale that relates to the work that you do and explains more about what the outcomes might be and how your services can be transformative. McDonalds made a very successful documentary showing how their burgers are made and why they look different in the pictures than they do in real life. This was a great way of engaging customers and giving them an insight into the business that made them feel like they had a special 'behind the scenes' tour. Or what about making a comedy version of what poor customer service looks like and compare it to the customer service people will receive if they choose your business?

6. Make a video diary

This is similar to a documentary but more of a 'day in the life' idea that can help customers understand the way you approach business. You could follow one of your staff for the day and do a warts-n-all type of film, or you could do a short daily snippet of your thoughts or activities over a month and edit it all together so that people can see what a month is like in terms of all the different things that you do.

7. Create a campaign

This is a fun one to get your teeth into if your business is in a position to support it. Why don't you start a fun campaign and film it? Perhaps you could campaign for people to love their teeth more (if you are a dentist for example), or create a campaign for people to make their grass greener (if you are a landscaper), make their fridays a family day (to promote your destination or restaurant etc), there are a million ideas! By creating a fun campaign you are promoting yourself and your services, giving valuable information out to people (you will need the campaign to be educational in some way for this to work), showing your business as caring and approachable and as the leader of the pack who thought of the campaign in the first place!

8. Raise money

If you run a charity or a social enterprise you can use a DVD to raise money. You could make a heartwarming film, a hard hitting film, a funny film etc and sell it to raise some cash. This can just be within your organisation or can be part of a wider community offering. Show you and your colleagues doing something unexpected - a dance, a song, a play and then sell it to their family and friends to raise some funds.

9. Show the success stories

If you are a hairdresser, why not do a whole lot of before and after stories? Get customers (with their permission of course) to tell you how they feel about the new hairstyle. Maybe you specialise in therapies such as acupuncture and can interview those customers who have had a particularly successful treatment and would love to be an advocate for what you do. If you run a mobile disco business, create a set-up where you can show everyone having a wonderful time (again, with permission). Virtually every business can create a film with satisfied customers to help promote what you do.

10. Introduce a new idea

Do you run workshops? Do you have a new idea that you want to promote? Why not film the workshop and share it with people via a DVD that they can purchase? If you have a new idea that is not well known yet then make a DVD so that people can learn more about it and start talking about it. If you are up for showing yourself as an authority on a certain subject then make a DVD and start selling your expertise to others who might need it. It can be an add on to an existing business or it could be the basis of the business itself - sell your expertise as a course available on a series of DVD's.

But how much will that cost??!

The cost of making a film these days can range from nothing at all (if you have the right equipment) to thousands for a properly edited film with presenters and actors. Geek Media have a very cost effective solution if you are looking for an affordable way of making a professional film that has been put onto DVD for you. They offer 5 days filming, a finished, properly edited film put onto DVD with a bespoke cover design for £10 a DVD. If this interests you please watch the film below (which co-incidentally has me as the presenter ;-)....).

The story so far...

Here is an article that I wrote for Motherhood Diaries about my journey. It covers my story of what it was like to make the big changes in my life that have occurred so far! Have a look and let me know what you think!

http://motherhooddiaries.com/motherhood-businesses-jobs-and-family-life-one-mothers-account-of-juggling-the-every-day-obstacles-life-throws-at-her-family/

Love Nova xxx

The brilliant little film my son made me for the blog...

My very clever 8 year old son has made this film for me to advertise the blog! He made it all himself without any help! Have a watch, it has a great message behind it.....

Please let us know what you think!

Love Nova xxx

The person who owns £12 million and doesn't even know it...

There is someone out there in Britain right now who has £12,000,000 coming to them and they don't even know it. £12 million that is just sat there waiting for them to notice the value of a small slip of paper and to wake up to how very valuable it is. 

This morning I was considering buying a lottery ticket, I went onto the site to see how easy it was to purchase online. A page link at the bottom caught my eye...There is a list of unclaimed prizes on the National Lottery website and someone bought a ticket for the draw on the 31st May for the Euromillions Millionaires raffle in the Ladywood District of Birmingham. That person is the owner of the £12 million and apparently they are totally unaware. If they don't quickly remember to check their ticket the money will be lost to them forever.

This got me thinking. How many of us fail to see the value in things before it is too late? How many times have we left things to the last minute through laziness or an assumption that it won't matter only to find that we have missed out? £12 million is a huge amount to lose, it might stay with you for the rest of your life that feeling of how things could have been so different. The resentment might grow and grow and your life could instead change for the worse - just because you didn't pay attention to the small things that ultimately could have huge impacts. 

I know that there have been times when I have not followed opportunities up, believing them not to be worthwhile or to be so time consuming that I wouldn't be able to make them happen or that I thought wouldn't turn out to be beneficial - only to find that someone else did and they were incredibly successful as a result. Or missing a meeting that later turned out to be an offer that I would have been so excited about but was no longer open because I had not shown the commitment or interest level required. As a result, I have long since tried never to turn down an opportunity at first glance but to follow it through until I could come to a decision based on more than just 'do I have time?', 'do I have the energy?' etc.

Sometimes it seems that small things won't ever matter - not checking that lottery ticket for example....'I'm never going to win anyway, what is the point?' The point, I suppose is that you never know, you never know what might happen until you try, until you ask, until you get to know someone, until you take a risk. Maybe your business idea is not going to work, maybe you will have less money and this will never improve, maybe your family will suffer as you work harder and earn less, maybe it will all go wrong. The question is not 'what if it all goes wrong?' but 'do I really want this?' If you really want it and it serves your ideas of where you would like your future to go then try it. Try talking to someone that is in your industry that you would like help from - they might tell you where to go, or they might turn your life around. If you don't ask, someone else will and if they get the answer you wanted and you miss out you have lost more than just the slight embarrassment that comes from asking or getting a 'no' answer. 

As an analogy, life is a bit of a lottery, you don't really know how it is going to turn out but as it say's on the adverts 'you have to be in it to win it'. There is absolutely no chance of winning/getting what you want, if you refuse to take part, you have sealed your fate already, you have made up your mind that you will not win. Making a small investment on a regular basis though could end up netting you millions. I'm not suggesting the lottery as the answer, there are far better ways to invest your time and money! Invest it in you, invest it in your future but be sure to take part.

Don't take the small things as unimportant, make the calls, reply to the emails, follow up your curiosities, keep doing what you love without any response being necessary and for goodness sake...if you bought a ticket in Birmingham, CHECK IT!!!!

Please circulate this to anyone you know who might own the ticket as well - how amazing would it feel if we could make their dreams come true by getting their £12 million to them! 

Love Nova xxx